The 101 Dumbest Moments in Business, 2007

31. We’ll say this for Mr. Cayne: He clearly shares his primo stuff with the research department. In March, shortly after No. 2 U.S. subprime lender New Century Financial announces a major earnings restatement as a result of failing loans, Bear Stearns analysts Scott Coren and Michael Nannizzi write a research note on New Century. They argue that despite New Century’s stock having plunged 50%, to $15 per share, its downside risk is no worse than $10 in a “rescue-sale scenario.” Within a month, New Century drops below $1 a share, is suspended by the NYSE, and files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection.

32. Gimme some skin, dawg. Rapper Jay-Z, founder of the Rocawear clothing line, is taken to task by the Humane Society after it finds that the “faux fur” in jackets sold by his company is actually dog fur.

33. And we just thought our wives were really into oral hygiene. Lawyers representing Procter & Gamble send a 66-page cease-and desist letter to British sex-toy company Love Honey, demanding that it stop using images of its Oral B electric toothbrushes to promote a product called the Brush Bunny—a rabbitshaped piece of plastic that slips over the top of an Oral B to turn it into a vibrator.

34. G-strings and sweaty bald men sold separately. Summit Products of Trussville, Ala., introduces the YOUniverse Funk Fone, a working telephone for little girls that bears a striking resemblance to the footwear worn by dancers at Scores.

35. Who knew “M&Ms” stood for Meatloaf & Mutton? Masterfoods, the maker of Mars, Snickers, and other candies, abandons plans to begin using animal products in its chocolates.

36. Let the Best Buyer beware. The state of Connecticut sues Best Buy for setting up in-store kiosks set to a website that looks identical to bestbuy.com but lists higher prices than those they would actually find online.

37. ... thus making our satisfaction complete. District of Columbia judge Roy Pearson loses a $54 million lawsuit against the owners of a dry-cleaning establishment that he claims misplaced a pair of his pants. Pearson argued that the cleaner committed fraud by failing to live up to the satisfaction guaranteed sign displayed in the shop. Four months later a judicial review committee votes against reappointing him to his post, finding that he failed to demonstrate “appropriate judgment and judicial temperament.”

38. Are you a moron? Click here now! To test Google’s ability to block harmful advertising, Belgian IT security consultant Didier Stevens posts an ad that reads “Is your PC virus-free? Get it infected here!” It is accepted by Google and displayed 259,723 times; 409 web surfers actually click on the ad.

39. Oh, for the love of … wait, you already said it yourself. British artist Damien Hirst, famous for such works as a tiger shark preserved in a tank of formaldehyde, creates the most expensive piece of contemporary art in history: a platinum human skull covered with 8,601 diamonds. Called “For the Love of God,” the piece is reportedly sold to an unnamed investment group for $100 million.

40. Oh, Manny, you’re soooooo handy. Young Comcast customers in New Jersey are surprised when a scheduled showing of Disney Channel’s Handy Manny— featuring bilingual handyman Manny Garcia and his talking tools—is replaced by hard-core pornography. A parent says she will cancel her Comcast subscription just as soon as the NHL playoffs are over.

41. What could be worse than porn for impressionable young minds, you ask? At a National Amusements multiplex in Holtsville, N.Y., an audience set to watch family film The Last Mimzy is instead treated to the opening scene from The Hills Have Eyes 2, in which a chained woman gives birth to a cannibalistic mutant.

42. They had such high hopes. Predicting a blockbuster, Pfizer introduces the diabetes drug Exubera, a form of insulin inhaled through a tubular device. It’s quickly dismissed as a “medicinal bong” by a prominent diabetic blogger, while the president of the American Diabetes Association, citing lung-function risks, says, “I see it as my job to talk people out of it.” Pfizer quickly gives up on the product, taking a $2.8 billion write-off.

43. Child abuse: It’s fan-tastic! The Toronto Blue Jays trumpet the arrival of designated hitter Frank Thomas with a TV commercial in which the 6-foot-5, 275-pound slugger—nicknamed “The Big Hurt”—is seen pillow-fighting with a small boy. He swings so hard he sends the child flying from the bed. Though the boy pops up unhurt, the ad is banned by the Television Bureau of Canada.

44. Another subprime stunt. A Bank of America branch in Ashland, Mass., is evacuated after it receives a fax with the image of a lit match being held to a bomb’s fuse. The fax, sent by the company to alert employees to an upcoming promotion, somehow comes through without its text, which should read “The Countdown Begins … Small Business Commitment Week June 4–8.”

45. We seriously mistrusted those sprinkles. Just one week after unveiling the world’s most expensive dessert—the $25,000 Frrozen Haute Chocolate, 28 cocoas infused with edible 23-karat gold served in a goblet with a diamond bracelet at its base— New York restaurant Serendipity 3 is shut down for failing its second health inspection in a month. Inspectors find a live mouse, multiple piles of mouse droppings, fruit flies, houseflies, and more than 100 live cockroaches.

46. And if those guys in Rome don’t stop using our logo, we’ll nail them too. Johnson & Johnson sues the American Red Cross for infringement of its trademarked red cross.

47. He’s also honest, humble, and nuttier than an organic fruitcake. “I like Mackey’s haircut. I think he looks cute.”— Whole Foods CEO John Mackey, posting under the screen name Rahodeb, on a Yahoo Finance stock forum. The Federal Trade Commission reveals that Mackey authored this and numerous other posts over an eight-year period, hyping his company and himself while trashing the competitor he hoped to acquire, Wild Oats.

48. They don’t call it the European Union for nothing. To highlight its role as a patron of the arts, the EU posts a mashup on YouTube featuring two dozen sex scenes from movies it has funded, followed by the line, “Let’s come together.”

49. The red-light district in Amsterdam immediately closed. A worker in a German screw factory smuggles out 2,000 to 7,000 screws per night, ultimately stealing more than a million units. He sells the screws below cost on the Internet, artificially depressing the entire screw market.

50. Makes you wonder what it would cost to ship a million German screws. Exploiting a flaw in a Defense Department purchasing system, South Carolina parts supplier C&D Distributors rakes in $20.5 million in shipping fees on just $68,000 in sales. The scheme is finally detected when a Pentagon clerk spots a $969,000 bill for shipping two 19-cent washers to an Army base in Texas.

For the complete list of the 101 Dumbest moments in Business, go to CNNMoney.com.

Page 1 | Page 2 | Page 3 |