Penelope Trunk The Brazen Careerist

Every week, my Yahoo! Finance columns get hundreds of reader comments. In general, the commenters hate what I write.

For some reason, there are hundreds of people who take time out of their day to read my columns even though they hate them, and then take more time to tell the world precisely why they hate them. (Maybe these people just need to reread my column on how to manage their time better.)

Undercriticized Is Undermanaged

Unsurprisingly, I get lots of emails asking me how I cope with all the negativity. It's an interesting question, because I generally don't mind the comments, most of which I read. Why? Because one of the best ways to get better at your job is to learn from your critics.

One of the biggest problems in the workplace today is that there isn't enough feedback. Management guru Bruce Tulgan calls this the "undermanagement epidemic," and says that today's effective managers give constant feedback to people so they can get better at their jobs.

If you don't get feedback you can't get better, right? So criticism is in fact a gift, because someone is taking the time to look at your work and assess what they like about it the most -- and the least.

Wheat, Chaff Separated

The problem is knowing which critics to listen to. People who don't listen to any critics start to stagnate, while people who listen to all their critics tend to lack a vision for themselves.

I've been a columnist for a long time, so I've gathered lots of critics. Here are some questions I've learned to ask myself when I'm trying to figure out which ones to listen to:

• Does the critic deserve your respect?

People reveal a lot about themselves in a few short sentences. For example, many of the negative comments about my columns have sexist undertones. I ignore those, because I think they have an agenda that goes way beyond what I write about.

The best people to take criticism from are people in your field who have won your respect. One of my favorite editors, who was a stay-at-home-dad, told me to be careful how often I write about my kids or I risk losing broad appeal.

That was good criticism: Actionable advice based on experience that rings true, even though it's not what I wanted to hear.

• Does the critic understand your goals?

Sometimes my columns get criticized for not addressing people who have been at the same company for upwards of 20 years. However, my goal has never been to write for such people.

Anyone who stays at a job that long probably relies on their company for career happiness rather than taking responsibility for it themselves. That's not my audience, and I shouldn't take advice from anyone who can't understand that.

Your critics don't have to agree with your goals, but they need to understand what those goals are. Otherwise, how can their criticism help you achieve them?

• Does the critic recognize your strengths?

The best way to give criticism is to recognize what the person you're criticizing is good at, tell them that you recognize it, and then tell them ways to use their strengths to improve -- that is, to turn one strength into a wide variety of strengths.

If a critic doesn't recognize the strengths you bring to the table, his or her criticism can't come from a place of understanding.

• Does the critic challenge you to think in new ways?

The best critics notice things you never noticed. For example, one commenter on my blog pointed out that a recent post romanticized eating disorders. I have to admit that I agree.

I find that comment useful because it understands what I was attempting to say, and judges my writing in that context. I also like it because the commenter forced me to look at myself a little differently -- to ask myself some hard questions about why I wrote what I did.

• Does the critic focus on things you can take action on?

I get a lot of comments about the photo featured on my Yahoo! column. Most are dismissible, but one really stuck with me: Someone told me my eyebrows were too far apart. I agreed, and subsequently changed the person I go to for my eyebrow tweezing.

That's the great thing about reading most of the reader comments -- I never know what the good advice will be about. But as long as it's advice on something I can take specific action to fix, I consider all subjects fair game. Even my eyebrows.