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Ben Stein How Not to Ruin Your Life

Ben Stein, How Not to Ruin Your Life

Old-School Lessons for the College-Bound

by Ben Stein

Excellent (481 Ratings)
4.060296/5
Posted on Friday, August 17, 2007, 12:00AM

Finance is an endlessly fascinating topic. It involves history, intuition, logic, mathematics, and hope. But for most of us, our finances come from work and not from investments.

In turn, how we do at work is vitally affected by the kind of education we get -- and most especially what we get out of our education. And what we get out of our education is very largely dependent on what we put into our education.

The Son Also Rises

This comes to mind because classes are starting soon in many colleges. (How did it get to be so early? When I was a lad, we started in late September.)

My one and only son, the light of my life, is starting at Presbyterian College, a liberal arts school in South Carolina. My wife and I want him to have the best possible experience there.

So, what follows is some advice for our son and for all college students, and maybe for all students of any age, about how to maximize the value of time spent in higher education.

Teachers Are People, Too

First, make friends with your teachers. They're human beings, not machines, and they want to have friends. They want to be liked and admired. They have exactly the same wishes about human relations that the rest of us have.

To make friends with your teachers, try the following:

Read your assignments and be ready to discuss them.

I can tell you, based on my years of teaching at glorious American University, stupendously beautiful University of California, Santa Cruz, and spiritual and good-hearted Pepperdine, that not a lot of your fellow students will have read the assigned work.

If you're among the ones who have read it, and can raise your hand to discuss it, you'll place yourself at the top of the teacher's mind right away. He or she will be conscious of you, will appreciate you, and will remember you.

Be polite but firm in class.

If you and your teacher disagree on something, you shouldn't be afraid to challenge him or her. Never do so rudely or cruelly (although you'll be tempted), but teachers want you to challenge them if it's based on facts and data and sound reasoning. They consider it a job well done when their students do that.

If there's something you need to have clarified or an additional point you want to make, stay after class to talk to your teacher and walk around the campus with him or her.

Teachers are there to teach. If you show that you're there to learn, they'll admire you and thank you. Not as many students are in school to learn as there should be. If you're one of them, you're way ahead of the game.

Time Is of the Essence

Next, do your papers neatly, according to the assignment, and on time. Don't cheat yourself by not handing in your work or by doing it late.

College is largely about learning to budget your time and effort. If you give yourself plenty of time and don't wait until the last minute, you can get it all done, and done easily. College isn't boot camp -- your teachers want to make the work possible for you, not impossible. You can do it all if you give yourself enough time.

Also, spell-check everything you do and read it over to make sure there are no mistakes. When I was a teacher, nothing infuriated me more than a paper with a lot of misspelled words. Don't misspell anything and you'll be ahead of the curve.

Finally, make sure you write at least to the length suggested. Don't write too briefly or way too long. Do what your teacher asks you to do.

Be Well-Rounded

Take courses that will be of genuine use to your mind. It's vital that every young person know U.S. history, European history, and geography. It's just as vital that you know Shakespeare, the English and American poets, and the classics of Greek and Roman literature.

These are the common currency of educated humans all over the western world. You mark yourself as civilized or uncivilized depending on how much you know of Wordsworth and Keats and Gibbon as much as by what you wear.

Science and I have long been uneasy bedfellows, but some knowledge of biology, botany, and physics is basic. Mathematics is the queen of science. You should take as much of it as you can.

You probably won't call upon these subjects in your daily life when you enter the workforce, but they're vitally important in teaching you how to think. And learning how to think is, above all, the main challenge you face in school. It's true that you have to know certain basic facts, but you should also know how to approach a problem, break it down, solve it, and write about it. That's why it's important to take English composition, and take it seriously.

Affability and Neatness Count

Make friends, and preferably join a fraternity or sorority. It's lonely spending your hours by yourself in the library. You need to have a group you can hang with and joke with and eat with. This group will support you, cheer you, divert you, and energize you. Having friends in college is not a trivial matter -- it's life and death in terms of getting through successfully.

Also, don't allow yourself to look like a slob. Always be well dressed, cleanly showered, clean shaven, and look as if you mean business. Teachers don't like sloppy students. They like students who look neat.

I know you'll be sorely tempted to look like a hippie; I used to look like one, and it was fun. But if you wear sloppy clothes, be clean inside them and have your thoughts especially well-ordered to offset your appearance. You'll need to work twice as hard so your teachers know you're smarter on the inside than on the outside.

Some Final Tips

Don't smoke or drink to excess.

Play a sport. This keeps you in good physical condition, gives you a readymade set of friends, and allows you to express your tensions and anxiety on the field. Even if you're not perfect at the sport, just play it to get some air into your lungs.

If you're not happy with your roommate, switch. Having a good roommate makes all the difference in the world. Don't let yourself be sidetracked by having a disturbing person sharing your world. Go to the housing office and make an official switch, or just do it informally. But do it, and keep switching until you find a roommate you get along with.

Try to have a significant other. At your age, this is a huge part of life -- as it is at every age. Treat her or him with respect and dignity, and you'll soon find that you have a reason to get up every morning.

Above all, develop habits of work. You'll spend most of your life working, I hope. College is where you learn to allocate your time, get your assignments done, and develop a good rapport with your fellow workers (students) and your bosses (teachers), and make them all your friends.

If you can learn to work, think, and make friends, you're way ahead of the pack.

Good luck.

*  *  *

It turns out that in my last column, "How Speculators Exploit Market Fears," I undercounted the mortgage market. It's somewhat larger than I thought, but this does not in any way change my analysis. I apologize for the miscount.

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157 Comments

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  • picky eater - Friday, August 31, 2007, 1:37PM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 5/5

    I really like this article. My father taught graduate students for 20 years. This article reminds me of things he use to say. While there are little things that apply differently to people in different situations, your over all message is highly applicable to all. Your article should be published in every college newspaper at the start of a new school year. I always look forward to your articles. Keep them coming!

  • rachaelm - Thursday, August 30, 2007, 11:36AM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 5/5

    I work at a college and every year I desire for the students to learn these simple concepts. To often I am disappointed.

  • JessicaP - Tuesday, August 28, 2007, 7:47PM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 2/5

    I think this article is great for the typical middle class student who is going off to a prestigious university, will be living on campus, and will be majoring in who knows what for the next four years, living off of mom and dad's money and basically sucking up college life to the full. Unfortunately, this can't really apply to many students and isn't practical advice. Many students are living at home, commuting, and often attending local community colleges. Many students pay for their own college or are taking out loans (in which case it's best to finish quickly and to the point). Mr. Stein also fails to mention perhaps the pivotal college moment: choosing your major. It's VERY important to choose something that will lead directly to a job, and if earning money is important to you (i.e., your parents are not rich) you need to choose a practical degree, not a liberal arts degree. While it's an excellent idea to take philosophy or history classes as they interest you, these will have no practical worth in the real world, and most of us really do need to go get a good paying job right after college. Unless you want your son/daughter to be a secretary, than by all means, major in liberal arts.

  • Yahoo! Finance User - Tuesday, August 28, 2007, 5:09PM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 3/5

    How was this about race? How is everything about race? I'm so tired of it. So tired of "the man," "white male agenda" and so on. Is the Western culture primarily white and male dominated in terms of being successful. Somewhat perhaps, but I know people of all cultures and races who think common values like respecting authority (teachers), if you do something try to do it well (read assignments) and so on are excellent life values for anyone. Even if our educational and business world is white/male-centric, everyone has to adapt. If you did business in China, you would have to adapt. I'm sure the white/male business class workers in Asia don't balk at taking cultural classes, learning about Confucianism, learning the language, etc. in order to be most successful there rather than blaming it on those "anti-Western" out to get me Asians. Please stop feeling sorry for yourself, become a shining example of how to succeed using only your cultural values and promote it. That's how you instigate change. Write me an article on how to succeed based primarily on Afro-American values and I'm more apt to give you respect than through whining.

  • Jeffrey - Tuesday, August 28, 2007, 9:18AM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 5/5

    I think this is a very helpful and informative article written directly to new college students like myself. Excellent Article!

  • Judy - Monday, August 27, 2007, 4:22PM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 5/5

    I wish this would get to more kids! My kids already have graduate degrees, so I'm not sure why my nephew sent it to me.

  • Yahoo! Finance User - Monday, August 27, 2007, 5:52AM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 1/5

    This article only provided what we hope that most parents of teenagers do tell their children in the years before college : professors are people, too; be on time with your assignments; learn as much as you can about as many subjects as you can; don't drink too much, for your safety and those around you. (I'm choosing to ignore comments about dress, as they are immaterial) Sadly, this is an article aimed at idealistic teenagers with a good GPA and not at truly experienced college students, nor at those high school students with real world knowledge. My addendums, based on my experience, would be as follows: 1. You live in a town, in a state, in a country, on a continent, in a hemisphere, on a planet. The neighbors that you know personally are no different than those neighbors on the other side of the world. Learn a language and a culture different from your own. A student who graduates college, no matter what degree you have, who only speaks English, will always be behind the curve. Also, no matter what your mathematical skills are, not understanding at least basic history, means you know nothing. 2. Don't just involve yourself with you academic and social life on campus. These are important. However, so is knowing what happens around you: socially, economically, politically. Example: Look at Darfur (or AIDS, or global warming, or international trade, or the economic infrastructure, or Salafists, The economic/political state of the former Eastern Bloc? Who are the tamal tigers? How many of them died? How? Why? What do their families think?) or whatever the subject -- What is it? What's happening? How did it start? Who is at play? What are people/governments doing to help? How? What will be the outcome? Regionally? Internationally? Economically? Environmentally? In a year? Two? Five? Ten? ...? What can you do? 3. Be brave enough to face other hard question/issues, be critical, be open (even if you're old/young/rich/middle class/poor/white/hispanic/vegetarian/ mixed/catholic/baptist/reactionary/agnostic/muslim/ buddist/athiest/socialist/marxist/etc, etc, etc.... you will meet every single human being that can possible exist in college, and even more afterwards in the world. You need to know the who/why/what/where of everything. 4. On the same issue, know yourself, even if you're not 100% sure exactly where you stand on issues. All those different people you just met, will be searching for themselves as well, and questioning yourself on you as well. Before you judge, put yourself in someone else's shoes. 5.Most importantly: Go abroad and live/study/work/converse in the language/culture of the country that you're in. Push yourself. Spending six months in Italy partying and drinking with other Americans speaking only English makes you someone who profits from others, and someone who knows nothing. You will do only harm. Do go out with other English-speakers, but be with other people as well. If you don't you will never know your home country or yourself, and you will continue to make dangerous mistakes as far as the political and economic future of the world. 6. Do have fun. It is imperative that you learn all aspects of life. Just do it with all aspects of your head and heart and trust that there are consequences, either good and bad depending on your actions. 7. Getting a job/career or building a life is bigger than which dorm you live in, how much you drink, how many girls/guys you date, how cool you think it is to trash someone's car and call it 'Friday night'. Think about your future as it will be for the rest of your life, not the next 3-4 years. And for only an extremely small (but obnoxious) percent of you: 8. No. You're wrong. No one owes you a living. You don't have the right. You know who you are, and so does everyone else, even if it takes a while for you to be found out.

  • Anthony - Monday, August 27, 2007, 3:52AM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 2/5

    This is article was promising but the last comments were right. I was going to send this article to my cousin who is starting school at Alabama State University this Fall, but as African-Americans we face an entirely different set of issues when going to college. A lot of it is learning how "the man" thinks (this article is a prime example) so we will know what we're up against when we enter the "real world." Also we must learn how to network within our community because Shakespeare, European and American history and literature are only good as currency in certain cultures, not all. Some of the advice is good but some of it is definitely not for everybody. I guess its good to learn about all sorts of history but as a young black student, I would encourage her to learn about HERstory not HIStory. This article should have included a disclaimer: NOT FOR EVERYONE but for people similar to my son.

  • Ant3 - Monday, August 27, 2007, 3:38AM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 3/5

    I think that it sucks that you think that intelligence is based on how much European history and literature you can remember. What about African history or literature; Asian history; World history. All people come from Africa you know. Its such a shame to know that the white male agenda is so alive and throbbing and that even as young, white Americans venture off to college, they're being encouraged to become more of the same. That's why people hate America now. After all manners of destruction and genocide have been perpetrated throughout the world emanating from Europe, people are still encouraging their kids to see from one segment of society rather than looking at the world wholistically. If you do join a fraternity or sorority, make sure it's full of diverse, well-versed, open-minded, optimistic individuals. NOT racist, close minded drunkards who get together to get wasted, and keep their hopes of a whiter America alive.

  • Jerome - Monday, August 27, 2007, 3:17AM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 5/5

    Sounds like good advice. As a liberal arts fan when I went to college, I appreciate the importance of knowing history and literature (et cetera). However, aren't these subjects that an academic should be reading in his spare time? I'm not sure what taking a class in these areas would gain a student -- especially if one's possible teachers are modernist/deconstructionist. And why not focus on disciplines you are not likely to learn on your own?

  • Yahoo! Finance User - Monday, August 27, 2007, 2:38AM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 2/5

    as a college student, listen to me. bad advice to join a frat or sororiety. all they do is get drunk every night and hope to hook up. yes, they volunteer, but they are forced to, and they are usually hung over when they go do community service. i would also say going to class is a waste of time. my freshman year i went to most classes, but then i have to pull all nighters to finish papers. now i do my assignments during the day, and enjoy my nights. class is pointless in college.

  • katiew - Monday, August 27, 2007, 2:37AM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 2/5

    Good advice on time management and classroom character but the rest of it seemed unnecessary. Don't be sidetracked with having "disturbing people" in your world? Try to have a significant other? Life isn't like a manual of perfection. It just is. If anything the differences in your college experience from this article will most likely be the most memorable and meaningful.

  • Jondolar - Monday, August 27, 2007, 2:34AM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 4/5

    Well Ben, I see we've got a few things in common. Like you, I'm from a different generation, and we've both been teachers. While your article is good at covering some reasonable points for new college students, I would personally recommend to all freshman as a reading assignment Thomas Freidman's "The World is Flat" if they want any grasp on what they're facing and how to best utilize their eductation. Not only is a brain a terrible thing to waste, but getting a liberal arts degree with no focus, or deliberateness, is nearly as bad, in my opinion. Those who've already read his book, can relate to what I'm saying here. As a teacher of 28 years, the most important thing to me that Freidman said about getting a college education is to not focus on the contents of the courses, as much as one should focus on taking courses from those professors who have a reputation for stimulating thinking critically, how to be a problem solver, and teaches in a manner such that it inspires the students to develop a passion for learning more about the subject. If you go to college just to be going through the motions of getting the degree, then it's been a waste of both your time, and possibly your parent's hard earned money, if they're paying for it. If you are paying for it and it was wasted, then you're just a fool. The students in foreign countries are coming to our colleges to get the best education possible. Only problem is, they're already way ahead of most U.S. high school graduates academically. So, be careful not to spend more energy partying than studying, because while those "geeks" who weren't invited to those partys are buckling down to their books, you're letting them get the edge on that job that might have been yours.

  • Katie B - Monday, August 27, 2007, 2:06AM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 4/5

    that is actually a pretty good article. i am 23 and going back to college after 4 years. i started off taking just a couple classes but at 19 i wasn't too concerned with college or my academic future i quit going after one semester. instead i focused on basic survival. i moved from texas to california when i was 21 and have been supporting myself for two years with no outside help. my life experiences have helped me appreciate putting real effort into school. to all those people that are complaining about the courses the writer describes as being, "vital", for every, "young person to know" ,it seems to me students should advised to focus on what they love doing . not everyone is going to have the same vital courses. for being posted by such accomplished grads, these comments seem quite narrowminded.

  • That Girl - Monday, August 27, 2007, 1:33AM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 5/5

    i agree im asian and kids don't kno that beef and brocoli is just a stereotype american food. XD lols. still asian culture is just as intersting as american or european culture. latin clasiical literature is also a must depending on what you are going to do. and try a LITTLE science? seriously. math is optional. :) still i think american history is intersting but not a course you HAVE to take. good luck alls. :P

  • Yahoo! Finance User - Sunday, August 26, 2007, 12:37PM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 3/5

    Ben, A good article, but it is not enough for students only to learn European and American History. I feel a true sense of lack of understanding of Asian History and culture. Given that China and India have thousands of years of history, sometime even longer than Europeans, it may be good for students to widen their knowledge.

  • S.R.Dooley - Sunday, August 26, 2007, 11:11AM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 3/5

    Good advice by Coach Stein that would help some of the socially crippled scientist/engineering types.

  • Carlyle - Sunday, August 26, 2007, 9:50AM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 2/5

    I hold a master's degree in the health care field and currently make well over the six figure mark. Quite honestly I still cannot see the benefit of reading Shakespeare, poets, or other composers. I avoided Greek mythology in high school and haven't regretted missing that at all. To date the only "core" courses that I see have benefited me in my field of study are chemistry, anatomy and physiology, and microbiology. US history is the only other one I can see having to take since I live in the US. The rest only served to bring my grade average down and maybe prepare me for jeopardy or the latest gameshow "cash cab."

  • Yahoo! Finance User - Sunday, August 26, 2007, 12:09AM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 2/5

    "Science and I have long been uneasy bedfellows, but some knowledge of biology, botany, and physics is basic. Mathematics is the queen of science. You should take as much of it as you can." Argg... why must LS&A people think that their experience is the only way. I'm a science person, Electrical Engineering to be specific. I don't know much of the classics, but then again, you'll never use those in practice either. The true thing any college student should learn is the ability to learn, think logically, and analyze a situation. This is what will separate you from the rest.

  • Quyen N - Sunday, August 26, 2007, 12:06AM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 3/5

    It would have been an excellent article if you change US and European history to just history and western literature to literature. In this Internet age, there are probably more people in Asia reading your writing than in US and Europe. By the way, I did most of what you say in the article during my high school and college years in Los Angeles, but chose Chinese literature over English.

  • Eugene - Saturday, August 25, 2007, 3:17PM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 5/5

    Learning to listen is sometimes hard to do.

  • t - Saturday, August 25, 2007, 12:45PM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 2/5

    And don't forget to wear your pocket protector! Ben, this reads like something out of "The College Guide for Nerds."

  • Weasel - Saturday, August 25, 2007, 11:15AM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 5/5

    As usual, Ben never disappoints. Since few kids ever listen to their parents, we should all print a copy of this and leave it on junior's pillow.

  • Aleksandr - Saturday, August 25, 2007, 2:45AM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 5/5

    I really like it... But I need advice:"which college to choose better..?" because I came to US from Europe just few months ago...so if somebody wants to help me please email me at martilonok_sm@yahoo.com. Thank You. Aleksandr.

  • Yahoo! Finance User - Saturday, August 25, 2007, 2:05AM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 5/5

    I wish I read this column 20 years ago when I was in school.

  • Swimmer Mom - Friday, August 24, 2007, 2:00PM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 5/5

    This is sound, practical advice. Thank you! I wonder how Ben feels about Penope Trunks' article on forcing your boss to prioritize, cutting corners and letting things fall through the cracks ("blow some things off" is what she said) at work (8/24/07)?

  • David - Thursday, August 23, 2007, 12:12PM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 2/5

    That was not my rating. I wanted to rate it a 5.

  • Yahoo! Finance User - Wednesday, August 22, 2007, 6:26PM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 5/5

    I appreciate Ben's financial advice; however, imo this is Ben at his best. Insight from the podium is sorely needed. Thanks, Ben. I just e-mailed my sis a copy for my nephew.

  • Doug - Wednesday, August 22, 2007, 6:02PM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 5/5

    Great article from Ben as always. Many of the comments disagree with joining a Greek organization--but I did not see any that came from someone who said thay hated being in one or that it wasn't helpful for them. Yes there are some fraternities that make the news with stories of excess or bad behavior; but most do not because it the stereotypes that make the news. Studies have shown that fraternity and sorority members are more likely to persist to graduation; and on an increasing number of campuses, Greek GPA's are higher than non Greeks. Other studies show that Greeks maintain more lifelong friendships from college than non Greeks. It has also been proven that Greeks are more supportive of their colleges financially after graduation. Greek organization also give out millions of dollars in scholarship money each year. Mot own organization has about 4500 undergraduate members and we will give out over $300,000 in direct academic scholarships and grants to attend leadership training events. My advice to anyone thinking about going Greek would be to join an organization that not only has fun and friendship but that also promotes academics (i.e. a chapter GPA above the all men's or women's) and this is involved int the campus and community (i.e. lots of members are leaders in other organizations and the chapter extends a helping hand to the community through philanthropic activities. Good luck class of 2011!

  • Yahoo! Finance User - Wednesday, August 22, 2007, 2:57PM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 5/5

    As a mathematics professor in a popular state university, I agree with much of what has been said here.

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