Your Wedding--Fall More Deeply in Love, Not Debt

It will be a day you won't forget -- especially if you're still paying for it five years later.

Next to buying a house and raising a family, a wedding is one of the priciest milestones in a couple's life. The average cost of tying the knot is $27,852, according to a 2006 survey conducted for The Conde Nast Bridal Group.

Because couples are making more money and marrying later, the tradition of parents picking up the entire tab is dying. With the average couple raking in $74,000 annually and nearing 30 years of age, the survey also states that 32 percent of them will cover their own wedding expenses.

If someone else is paying for your nuptials, congratulations, what a wedding gift! But for those of you who'll foot the bill yourselves, there are ways to make sure drastic debt doesn't go on honeymoon with you.

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And the single biggest key to containing those expenses is, surprisingly, not accounting advice. It is this: Talk to each other, honestly, openly, candidly, about the money that your wedding will cost.

The basic fiscal rule of thumb involved is this: Don't spend more on nuptials and a honeymoon that you can repay in 24 months, three years tops.

Think houses and babies
"You don't want it to overlap with the cost of children and buying a house," says Sharon Rich, a Massachusetts financial planner. "You will have other goals you want to achieve."

Say you spend the average $27,852 for your wedding. To pay it off in one year at 12 percent interest would cost $2475 a month; to pay it over two years would cost $1311 a month. Stretch it over three years and the payment is $925.

That's too much debt for anybody, much less young couples who are starting a life together. So before the first penny is spent, couples need to have an open, honest discussion about money, with each partner disclosing what they make, what they owe and how they spend discretionary funds.

"How much you borrow," says Rich, "depends on your spending habits and what you can afford to pay off each month. Plan to pay off your wedding in a year or two." Take the time to calculate how much you can realistically afford, or meet with a financial planner if you're unable to determine this amount on your own, recommends Rich.

"You're going to be talking about finances for the rest of your lives, so you might as well start here," says New York financial adviser Nancy Dunnan. "You can learn a lot about each other and shake out extreme differences by having a little business meeting."

Presuming you haven't called off the engagement after that, determine how much the two of you can afford to get hitched, take a hayride and how you will pay for it. "You want forward planning, not reactive payment," says Rich. "To have a plan to pay this off is going to be crucial."

Engage your money
Depending on how soon a couple plans to marry, they could grow any small savings they have by putting it into a short-term CD or Treasury bill. A six-month certificate of deposit could increase by enough before the wedding to pay for a limo, a cake or invitations.

A money market account is another way to give your savings a quick boost, plus it allows you to write checks as wedding expenses start to come in.

Wherever you park your cash before the wedding, make sure it's a safe investment.

"This is not the time to take a hot tip on a stock fund," advises Rich.

Finding a good credit card deal as quickly as possible is crucial. Plastic is a necessary tool for down payments on gowns, rings and other advance costs. If a dress is on back order and the store goes out of business before the first fitting, the bride who paid a deposit by check can probably kiss it goodbye. But federal law limits consumer liability for damaged or undelivered goods put on a credit card.

"It seems like the opposite of the advice one would expect, but you are going to be making a series of small and big deposits for months," says Alan Fields, co-author of Bridal Bargains: Secrets to Throwing a Fantastic Wedding on a Realistic Budget. "The risk is you are paying in advance for items you haven't received yet."

Think like someone you'd hire
Even with the average cost of a standard, variable-rate credit card, carrying debt on plastic will get you into trouble fast. "The point is to pay off your credit cards and not keep those balances," says Fields.

If one partner is a homeowner, a tax-deductible home equity line of credit could be the best way to borrow. The average rate is usually comparatively low and the loan allows you to withdraw money as you need it. An unsecured personal loan is another option, but it comes with much higher interest, so it's not much better than credit cards. The first place to look for any loan is a credit union or small community bank, which usually have the best deals.

Avoid the temptation to borrow from a retirement account such as an IRA or 401(k). That money is for your future, not today.

To minimize debt, let family members know you prefer cash gifts. When guests call Mom for suggestions, she can graciously pass along the hint. Bartering is another way to offset wedding costs. If you're a schoolteacher and the florist has a 7-year-old who needs tutoring, you might be able to strike a deal.

Sticking to a wedding budget requires organization and being a tough customer. "Assume that everything can be negotiated," says Rich. "It becomes like running a small business."

Beware the 'marriage mark-up'
It also helps to know a thing or two about the wedding industry. There are oodles of books and Web sites such as such as theknot.com and weddingchannel.com where couples can learn about the "marriage markup," for example, which means those white shoes will cost more at a bridal salon than they do at the mall.

The best place to start getting lean and mean is the reception, which typically eats up nearly half the expenses. "It's easy to go off the deep end real fast," says Fields. "The menus and facility you pick are where the bills start adding up."

Then there is what Fields calls "guest list inflation." Couples invite co-workers and clients and end up with more people than they can realistically afford to feed and entertain.

Fields says it's possible to have a fun, elegant wedding at half the average cost, but you have to make compromises. "You can't get married on a Saturday night in June, and you will be scouring outlet stores for a gown."

And remember: A marriage is till death -- not debt -- do you part.

Editorial assistant Leslie Hunt contributed to this story.