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Helping to Care for Aging Parents

Tips on helping elderly parents find resources and assistance, as well as information you can use to make sure they have adequate financial counseling to protect their assets.

Before You Start

  • Speak with your parents to clarify expectations and options regarding your role as a caregiver.
  • Seek advice from friends and family members who are already caring for an aging loved one.
  • Learn how different types of residential care facilities operate. That way, you won't make the mistake of paying for too much, or too little, assistance.
1

Helping to Care for Aging Parents

Many Baby Boomers are finding that their aging parents are in need of health care assistance. Luckily, there are many options available today to help your parents grow old gracefully, either in their own home or in a facility, and several ways that you can finance the costs of the care.
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2

Research Your Options

If your parents are healthy seniors who can look after themselves, they generally are eligible to enter a continuing-care retirement community that allows them to buy or rent an apartment and ensures them lifetime nursing care when it is necessary. Another option for healthy seniors is private long-term care insurance, which can help cover nursing-home costs or the cost of an in-home aide.

There are a wide range of services and options available if your parent needs more substantial assistance and is not eligible for the above-mentioned services. Many families opt for moving an aging parent into their own home. If you are able to peacefully coexist with your parent, this may be a good idea because the arrangement frees you from worry about the upkeep of a second home, and you and your children can have valuable time to spend with your loved one.
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3

Maintaining Their Own Home

When living together is not a workable plan, maintaining your parent in his or her own home is also an option. There are, however, several fairly expensive things that may be required to make a home environment safe and suitable for an aging person. Various safety features may be necessary, including first-floor bathrooms, grab bars in hallways and bathrooms, and a personal emergency response system in case your parent needs assistance while alone. If your parent is in need of daily assistance with meals or chores, he or she can apply for several services such as Meals on Wheels, which may be free for anyone over 60. If your parent needs more personal assistance, you may want to look into hiring an in-home aide at a skill level appropriate for the amount of help needed. Medicare will only pay the full cost of professional help if a physician certifies that your parent requires nursing care and if these services are provided by a Medicare-certified home health care agency. Adult day care is also an option and a good way to get your parent to socialize with other adults. Prices for day care can cost up to $100 a day or more, depending on the amount of attention and activities provided, and reduced rates may be offered for those who can't afford the full charge. Call your local senior services groups and agencies to find one of the thousands of nationwide day centers that may match your needs. Online Support for Eldercare Administration on Aging
www.aoa.gov -- A variety of print and online materials for elders, their families, and professionals regarding housing, medical, caregiving, and services for seniors.

ElderWeb
www.elderweb.com -- A rich collection of resources for the elderly and their caregivers on financial matters, health care, living arrangements, and social, mental, and legal issues.

There are other online support services, publications, and resources available that may meet your needs. Check your local library or senior services agency for information.
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4

Financing Long-Term Care

One of the biggest worries of those caring for an aging parent is how to pay for the care needed. If you provide more than half of a parent's support and his or her gross income is less than $3,300 in 2006, you can claim your parent as your dependent, giving you a tax exemption for each parent so cared for and allowing you to write off much of the medical expenses. (Note: The dependent exemption phases out at higher income levels. Check with your tax advisor.) You may also be able to claim a federal tax credit that will enable you to take up to $3,000 off the cost of in-home care or day care. Another option is the flexible spending account (FSA), which lets you pay for a certain amount of care each year with pretax dollars.

If sending your parent to a nursing home is inevitable, make sure you research each home extensively. Reservations at the home selected should be made at least a year ahead of the time that you expect your parent will need it, as waiting lists are typically long at well-respected facilities. Keep in mind, too, that the government offers limited financial help for those families paying for nursing home care. Medicare will only pay for care on a short-term basis, and Medicaid only offers benefits to low income individuals with limited assets. And, with the average nursing home stay costing upwards of $6,175 per month, financial planning has become even more crucial to the economic well-being of adult children responsible for the care of their elderly parents. Don't wait until the last minute -- start planning now to ensure the future care of your parents.

Publications for Long-Term Care Issues

  • Caring for Your Parents: The Complete AARP Guide, 240 pages, Sterling Press, 2005.
  • Consumer Reports Complete Guide to Health Services for Seniors: What Your Family Needs to Know About Finding and Financing Medicare, Assisted Living, Nursing Homes, Home Care, and Adult Day Care, 592 pages, Three Rivers Press, 2000.
There are other online support services, publications, and resources available that may meet your needs. Check you local library or senior services agency for information.
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5

Helpful Resources

There are many resources that can help you by providing valuable information and referrals. In addition to the resources listed below, your place of worship, local hospital, and senior services groups and agencies may also be helpful.

  • THE AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF HOMES AND SERVICES FOR THE AGING (www.aahsa.org or 202-783-2242) publishes free brochures on how to choose a nursing home or assisted-living facility, a directory of continuing-care retirement communities, and information on long-term care insurance.
  • FAMILY CAREGIVER ALLIANCE (www.caregiver.org; 415-434-3388) offers information for caregiver concerns, newsletters (English, Spanish, and Chinese), and an online support group.
  • THE NATIONAL ALLIANCE FOR CAREGIVING (www.caregiving.org; 301-718-8444) is a national resource center that provides information on elder-care conferences, books, and training for professionals.
  • NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF AREA AGENCIES ON AGING (www.n4a.org; 202-872-0888), an advocacy group for local aging agencies, offers The Eldercare Locator (800-677-1116) or www.eldercare.gov, a service that puts you in touch with a local resource-and-referral organization, which, in turn, will recommend home health care aides.

    There are other online support services, publications, and resources available that may meet your needs. Check you local library or senior services agency for information.


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Summary

  • As the population ages, many Baby Boomers may be called upon to care for an aging parent.
  • There are a range of options available to senior citizens, depending on their circumstances and the degree of care they require, including continuing-care retirement communities, moving a parent into the child's home, or modifying a parent's home to make it safe.
  • Certain tax breaks may be available if you can claim your parent as a dependent.
  • Research all your options, and consult the various resources available for the elderly.

Checklist

  • Begin shopping around for an appropriate long-term care insurance policy.
  • Check with a tax advisor to determine whether caring for your parents entitles you to any special tax breaks.
  • Increase contributions to your emergency and retirement accounts in order to continue safeguarding your own financial future.
  • Contact non-profit groups that support elder-care providers.

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44 Comments

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  • Yahoo! Finance User - Saturday, February 28, 2009, 7:23PM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 4/5

    I was in a lot of debt and desperate. Then I found out about paid online surveys. Some were scams, but I found a legit program. Now I make an extra $3000-$3500 per month right from home while watching TV with my kids. It really works! If you're interested, try it at http://cashsurveys.notlong.com

  • eileen - Monday, September 1, 2008, 6:25PM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 1/5

    When your parent has no money and you the child is a single parent with a child working to pay a mortgage it is not enough information. My mom only speaks spanish. She would not fare well in a home other than with her family. She has dementia and is getting progressively worse. I need help with financial assisistance to be able to care for her at my home and still bring up my child also. It is definitely difficult not knowing where to turn. I live in Virginia. I just need to know where I can get help to tend to my parent in my own home. This is best for her and all. She can keep her dignity knowing a family member is tending to her with the love she is accustomed to and the food she needs and likes. This is truly the hardest information to find. If you have money and insurance, kool! But unfortunately I am drowning in this economy today. I want to take care of my mother as families should. She was the best mom to me. Why should I send her away with stranger to have a diaper put on every nite even if she can physically go for herself. Very demoralizing for my mom. I pray every day for help and an answer. But this article was very limited.

  • Yahoo! Finance User - Thursday, September 13, 2007, 11:03PM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 3/5

    This was helpful to see the "either/or" comments on a retirement community that provides full health care vs. long term health insurance. I'm in the midst of moving my healthy mother into a wonderful community and she doesn't need the added expense of LTC insurance when those needs will be met by the community where she willl be living.

  • Emma - Friday, June 29, 2007, 5:19PM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 3/5

    Great overview. What I find many people overlook is setting parents' house in order by cataloging everything that is important to their parents...material things, account numbers, passwords, health records...before a parent suffers health or memory losses. I made a detailed book (and then found a way to do it electronically) for each of the people for whom I have ultimate caregiving responsibility. Once they or their minds are weaker, I still know I have the important info I need in order to take care of them, when they can no longer do it for themselves. Thanks for putting this ever more critical topic in the lime light. Lots of us will be going though it more than once.

  • madhavi - Monday, June 25, 2007, 11:58PM ET  Report Abuse

    • Overall: 1/5

    If old age is to be happy, instead of merely an existence (healthy if lucky), personal involvement of children and grandchildren in daily life may be essential. A 'happiness' survey among 65 will probably reveal that eastern, less affluent socities probably handle this issue better.

Showing comments 1-5 of 44Next >>

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