A wise person sent this to me, it's worth reading.
SPEAKING GERMAN IN TEXAS.
In Texas there's a small town called New Braunfels, where there's a large German-speaking population.
One day, some weeks ago, a local rancher driving down a country road noticed a man using his hand to drink water from the rancher's stock pond.
The rancher rolled down the window and shouted, “Mein Herr, trink das Wasser nicht. Die Kuehe haben da rein geschissen."
This means: “Mister, Don't drink the water. The cows have #$%$ in it."
The man shouted back, "I'm from New York and just down here campaigning for Obama's health care plan. I can't understand you. Please speak in English."
The rancher replied, "Use both hands."
When you post angry, spiteful words about anyone... or any subject, I try to skip over your post. Some people may react similarly about this post.
I, however, thoroughly enjoyed it! Personally, I'd like it better if they would have to relieve such a guard every 30 minutes... because their arms would get tired saluting the next person with the same question!
AND THE WINNER IS....
Ira, fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Ira, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Ira to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves... #$%$ happens'
IT ALWAYS SEEMS IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE POOL.
Thanks You Raytheon Pukes - You have doomed the Block 40 Program. Our Westinghouse Division had submitted a superior proposal for the MP-RTIP Radar and your petty, conceded, knuckle dragging, mouth breathing, Ira entitlement trough eating, POS management threatened to sue the by far better technical solution, have now doomed the program into obscurity. Go boink yourselves with the Boeing pukes whose company motto is "You can buy better, but you can't pay more!" How are you Boeing pukes faring on the GMD contract - you are shameless.
These drops are not sustainable. It seems they will learn this the hard way.
These are good ones, but you assume that BoBo cares about the budget. BoBo deficit exceeds all previous POTUS combined.
10. Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.
9. Directions to your doctor’s office include “Take a left when you enter
the trailer park.”
8. The nurses station has a tip jar.
7. The only proctologist in the plan is “Gus” from Roto-Rooter.
6. The only item listed under Preventive Care Coverage is “An apple a day..”
5. Your Doctor's stethoscope is two tin cans and some string.
4. The diploma on the wall says University of Walmart.
3. The only expense that is 100% covered is “embalming.”
2. Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M’s on them.
AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU’VE JOINED OBAMACARE:
1. You ask for Viagra and they give you a popsicle stick and duct tape
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal for Illegal Aliens & Welfare Recipients?
A: Order anything you want and the working schmuck behind you has to pay for it.
Q: What's the difference between Obama's Administration and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and continues to threaten the quality of life for legal hard working Americans. The other is for housing prisoners.
Q: If President Obama, Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi were all on a boat together in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America !
Q: How do you know when Obama is lying?
A: His lips are moving.