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  • foggiafc foggiafc May 1, 2013 6:58 PM Flag

    Need a good laugh. Read at your peril

    Q: Are you sexually active?
    A: No, I just lie there.
    ______________________________
    Q: What is your date of birth?
    A: July 18th.
    Q: What year?
    A: Every year.
    _____________________________________
    Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
    A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
    ______________________________________
    Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it
    affect your memory at all?
    A: Yes.
    Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
    A: I forget.
    Q: You forget? Can you give us an
    example of something that you've
    forgotten?
    _____________________________________
    Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
    A: Thirty-eight or thirty-fiv
    e, I can't remember which.
    Q: How long has he lived with you?
    A: Forty-five years.
    _____________________________________
    Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that
    morning?
    A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
    Q: And why did that upset you?
    A: My name is Susan.
    ______________________________________
    Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the
    occult?
    A: We both do.
    Q: Voodoo?
    A: We do.
    Q: You do?
    A: Yes, voodoo.
    ______________________________________
    Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that wh
    en a person dies in his sleep, he
    doesn't know about it until the next morning?
    A: Did you actually
    pass the bar exam?
    __________________________________ L

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    • Actual court documents

    • Q: So the date of conception
      (of the baby) was August 8th?
      A: Yes.
      Q: And what were you doing at that time?
      ______________________________________
      Q: She had three children, right?
      A: Yes.
      Q: How many were boys?
      A: None.
      Q: Were there any girls?
      ______________________________________
      Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
      A: By death.
      Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
      ______________________________________
      Q: Can you describe the individual?
      A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
      Q: Was this a male, or a female?
      ______________________________________
      Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice
      which I sent to your attorney?
      A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
      ______________________________________
      Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
      A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
      ______________________________________
      Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral
      , OK? What school did you go to?
      A: Oral.
      ______________________________________
      Q: Do you recall the time
      that you examined the body?
      A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
      Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
      A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
      ______________________________________
      Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
      ______________________________________
      Q: Doctor, before you performed the
      autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
      A: No.
      Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
      A: No.
      Q: Did you check for breathing?
      A: No.
      Q: So, then it is possible that the
      patient was alive when you began the
      autopsy?
      A: No.
      Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
      A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
      Q: But could the patient have
      still been alive, nevertheless?
      A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law

 
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