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  • dzeeman1020 dzeeman1020 Dec 1, 2012 10:52 AM Flag



    I wonder why the red states can't take care of themselves. Is it because their inbreeding leaves so many of them retarded?

    Sentiment: Strong Buy

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    • tomforst Feb 23, 2013 5:29 PM Flag

      Dear Red States:
      *We're ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and
      we've decided we're leaving: "Legitimate rape." is almost reason enough!
      *We in California intend to form our own country and we're taking
      the other Blue States with us.

      In case you aren't aware that includes New York, Hawaii, Oregon,
      Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the rest of
      the Northeast.

      We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and
      especially to the people of the new country of The Enlightened
      States of America (E.S.A).

      To sum up briefly:

      You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

      We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

      We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal and
      Todd Akin.

      We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.

      We get Intel, Apple and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

      We get Harvard, Yale, MIT & Stanford. You get Ole' Miss, Bob Jones
      University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

      We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.

      You get Alabama.

      We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states
      pay their fair share.

      Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the
      Christian Coalition's we get a bunch of happy families. You get a
      bunch of single moms.

      Please be aware that the E.S.A. will be pro choice and anti-war and
      we're going to want all our citizens back from Afghanistan at once.
      If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids
      they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose
      and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's
      caskets coming home.

      We wish you success in Afghanistan, and possibly Iran as well, but
      we're not willing to spend our resources in these sorts of pursuits.

      With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the
      country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce,
      92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines (you
      can serve French wines at state dinners) 90% of all cheese, 90
      percent of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulfur coal,
      and all living redwoods, sequoias and condors.

      With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese
      Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US
      mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99%
      of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists and
      Rush Limbaugh.

      We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

      Thirty-eight percent of you in the Red states believe Jonah was
      actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless
      we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that
      evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and
      61% of you believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

      Citizens of the Enlightened States of America

      PS: We're taking the good weed too. You can have that #$%$ they grow
      in Mexico.

    • shwdl Feb 23, 2013 10:55 AM Flag

      That's because down here in texas we have more PORCHNI66ERS 2 feed.

    • dzeeunman- You voted for what you are complaining about???????????????????????
      That is what your pres is promoting and anything else to divide the people.

    • foodstamp ricky, care to list where the money goes? After that you can tell us why you are an admitted welfare lifer.

    • Chezee Dzee,
      Suspect those Red states filled with self-reliant, over achieving, inbreds are too busy taking care of Blue states filled with under-fed, hands-out BObots.

      Hell, Dzeez, were not those BObots crowded at the "PYBLIC (sic) TROUGH" in the WH when Benghazi happened, they might have SEEN what happened there. Sure glad the comatose SECST's phoney "Pickering Pickle and Mullen Mullet Report" told us their version. The porn movie of Allah doing his thing to reduce the number of virgins in Paradise was better cover. [Bye Bye Ms. Rice, the world will be safer now].

      A question- was Ol' BO at the "TROUGH" looking for LEADERSHIP? It sho' wasn't at the WH before, during, and after Benghazi. Now we remember- Ol' BO was packing for a little jaunt to LVNV then. No time to play CIC when there is "Blo for BO and the Bros'", is there?

    • obamathedestructionist obamathedestructionist Dec 23, 2012 12:01 PM Flag

      foodstamp ricky, again can you list where the money goes. Try not to expose your extreme stupidity again.

    • Obama be saving us that cant help areselfs!

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