We definitely need the "Yuck" rating system for Neggy's posts!
We need to talk concerning your lab test yesterday. You are a danger to yourself and everyone you come in contact with. First of all you need to go to the bathroom, strip down and wrap yourself from head to toe in Saran Wrap. To be sure you need to wrap 6 layers deep. Once you have done that, then it would be safe for you to flush yourself down the toilet. If you do not, the CDC will be there shortly to quarantine the premises and yourself.