If this is real get out while can and do not trade on the market till you read the basics or use a professional advisor. This is real not a fun game.If you must trade ,trade small.Right now you sound like a gambler looking for the big hit to get yourself out of trouble,it ain't gonna happen. Good luck and hope you do not have to go through a divorce.
one word - dumb. You don't risk everything on one play. i've traded for 20 years and any book will tell you money management is key to survive. sell it take the loss before you lose another 30 percent.