A BP engineer and Obama walk into a bar. Suddenly they see a tar ball laying on the ground of the Bar, and both try to pick it up as fast as they can. Oil is oil you know, and oil is money.
They both start discussing to who gets the tar ball, and after a while, the BP engineer gets a idea!
What if we kick each other in the nuts as hard as we can. And the one lest standing gets the ball.
Obama (former High school socker player in Nigeria) thinks I'LL WIN THIS FOR SURE!!! I'll even let him go first.
So, the BP engineer stepst back, starts running, and KICKS OBAMA IN THE NUTS! So hard, you can actually hear his nuts CRACK!
But Obama is doesn't want to go through is knees and with tears in his eyes and his nuts in his throth he starts yelling to the BP engineer! AAAAaaarrh, THE F***** HURT, BUT THRUST ME, I'M GOING TO BREAK YOURS!! And after 30 minutes Obama is able again to move and positions himself to kick the Engineers nuts.
But then the BP engineers look to Obama and say... you know what Obama?.... you can have the tarball... and walks away.
the gov. needs 5 million green jobs how can we help
well i saw a green peece boat over there and the other bp executive asks hugo how can we get the price of oil up and #3 says i'll call opec and ruska and see if they got any answers because they need 90 $ oil to support there countries and jfk says
Order some prawns/shrimp deep fried in 10W40 Motor oil & ask for some fresh shaved tar instead of truffles on their pasta.
Seems BP engineers are inbred anyway and don't know the difference.
Bartender says; Did you hear about that guy HEALTHORACLE who posts on the yahoo message board that he can stop the leak? Well I believe he can. Read his messages. One engineer says, Dang, I'll call Suttle and let him know. This is good news." The other engineer says, "Let's hire him as a consultant." Then they drink happily since the have found a fellow that knows the physics required to get the job done. Bartender says, "let Suttle know and these drinks are on me."
Bartender says "what'l it be?"
BP Geeks - We'll have a couple Junk Shots please..
Bartender - Don't know that one... What's in it?
BP Geeks - It's basically a mixture of whatever crap you have laying around but it will definately get you f-d up once you've tried a few.