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  • happygambler34 happygambler34 Nov 18, 2012 1:42 PM Flag

    DIVORCE AGREEMENT WRITTEN BY YOUNG COLLEGE STUDENT

    I don't know who is John J. Wall...or if he even exists, but he's got my vote..

    The person who wrote this is a college student. Perhaps there is hope for us after all.

    THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.

    Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

    Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

    Here is a our separation agreement:

    --Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

    --We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.

    --You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

    --Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.

    --We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel.

    --You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

    --We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.

    --You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.

    --We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.

    --We'll keep Bill O?Reilly, and Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

    --You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

    --You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

    --We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

    --You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

    --We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.

    --You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.

    --We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."

    --I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".

    --We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

    --Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

    Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you might think about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

    Sincerely,

    John J. Wall Law Student and an American

    P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen, Barbara Streisand, &
    ( Hanoi ) Jane Fonda with you.

    P.S.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.

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    • John J. Wall Law Student and an American
      @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

      Doesn't exist. Another story by WorldNet Daily and the Daily Caller

      100% #$%$

      Sentiment: Hold

    • he needs to add that the toll charge to migrate from the liberal side (when it goes broke...won't take long) will be very expensive and they will have to leave their trash behind.

      • 1 Reply to teejk1
      • he needs to add that the toll charge to migrate
        @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

        TeeJerk... you keep running and hiding. How did you protect the state line between Illinois and Wisconsin? Weren't there "busloads of voter fraud felons" crossing into Wisconsin?

        Doesn't that say that the police, the State Attorney General, and every prosecutor in Wisconsin is inept, corrupt, and incompetent?

        Say drooler, didn't they miss the "massive' voter fraud?

        HAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

        You and your kind LOST!!!!!!!

        Sentiment: Hold

    • I don't know who is John J. Wall...or if he even exists, but he's got my vote..


      Cumgobbler the Senile proudly declares that he would vote for someone who may well not exist.

      I don't know if Jessica Rabbit exists, but she's got my vote.

    • Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion

      ****

      Awesome. We'll take all the states where Obama won - the entire Northeast, the Great Lakes states and the West Coast -- and you can have all the shlthole redneck states in the South and the flyover wasteland of the Midwest.

      WE get Silicon Valley, New York (we're taking Wall Street, loser), all the biotech, most of the software, aerospace, automotive, finance, and health care (Mayo Clnic, Medtronic, etc.) industries. You can have Wal-Mart. We get the entire Pacific Ocean, most of the Atlantic, the Great Lakes, the Rockies, Cascades and Sierra Mountains. You can have Appalachia. We get all the states with high incomes and low infant mortality rates. You get the Third World.

      P.S.: You're in my country without a visa. Get the F out of of Colorado, diaper-boy. Baaaa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

      • 1 Reply to al.gore22
      • "WE get..." Good luck with that theory goat-boy. My guess is that the turnout for the split vote would be somewhat larger than that for the last election, and Obama's already shot his wad with the gifts to buy votes. Comes shove time, the free phones won't work and the food stamps may not be accepted across the new borders.

        With all that real estate you might be able to reconstruct the industries that will leave the areas to go where freedom is not corrupted by welfare-statism. So keep Silicon Valley and see if silicon grows there, retard, and see if the high income states with low infant mortality are that way because of their Obama supporters. Maybe the high incomers won't move to where the taxes won't be redistributed to enable losers like you to keep going, assuming the vote goes your way in the first place. See if it helps your cause to have areas vote 542-0 to be the ones getting Federal Goodies when the source for the Federal Goodies dries up.

        You talk like a kid and like your tax-theory champs imagining that you can just raise the rate and not see a falloff in total output. Bring it!

        PS We get Alaska, and will start with drilling in Anwar.

 
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