Reason 1 - I am voting Democrat because I believe the government will do a far better job spending my money than I would. I think that when you spread the wealth around it is good for everyone. It is Patriotic.
Reason 2 - I am voting Democrat because I believe that business, in a free enterprise system, should not be allowed to keep any of their profits. All profits should be confiscated by the government and redistributed to all the people.
Reason 3 - I am voting Democrat because I believe the more government regulation and higher taxes on business will stop business from exporting jobs to foreign countries with less regulation and lower taxes. I believe that oil companies profits are wrong. Higher taxes on oil companies will produce lower prices at the pump. I believe that corporations should pay higher taxes. Higher taxes on business will make the price of their products and services less expensive.
Reason 4 - I am voting Democrat because I believe in a free government health care system. Doctors, nurses, hospitals, drug companies should donate all their time, products and services for free making for better health care. I believe in and support trial lawyers, unnecessary lawsuits and huge jury verdicts to drive doctors out of medicine.
Reason 5 - I am voting Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq, the terrorists will be pleased and now think of Americans as good people. I believe that our military is air raiding villages and killing innocent people. I believe that 9/11 was an inside job to con the American people into going to war for oil. I believe that terrorists should be allowed to have trials in American courts, and be able to subpoena top secret documents and government officials to cross examine for their defense.
Reason 6 - I am voting Democrat because English should not be the official language of the United States. I really do not mind pushing 1 for English. I believe that undocumented immigrants should have the same rights and privileges that I do as a citizen except that they do not have to be financially responsible for anything.
Reason 7 - I am voting Democrat because I believe that hard core murderers and rapist deserve to live and innocent unborn children deserve to die. Its a choice that I can live with. I believe that partial birth abortion is acceptable but water-boarding a terrorist is not.
Reason 8 - I am voting Democrat because Freedom of speech is only acceptable if no one is offended. I believe that civil disobedience groups who register felons, drug addicts, homeless drifters, undocumented immigrants, the deceased and the fictious as voters, makes my vote count even more.
Reason 9 - I am voting Democrat because we need to rid ourselves of the dependency on foreign oil. I am adamantly against offshore drilling for oil and natural gas, drilling in Anwar, building nuclear power plants and clean coal technology.
Reason 10 - I am voting Democrat because I believe that celebrating the winter solstice shows compassion for the small minority of people that do now celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, the son of the only God by which our government was founded
> Another reason: If I challenge or disagree with anything the democratic presidential candidate says or does, I am a hateful racist.
Funny, 'cause if you "challenge or disagree with anything the....[republican] president....says or does" you are not a True American or a True Patriot.
(Pardon the "liberal" usage of the quote)
The first time I heard the phrase "dumber than catsh-t". I had to laugh. I don't care if others might think it, the phrase does not apply to you. But it might well apply to what you wrote. Then again, I could be all wrong.
1) Well, I for one am voting Republican. I believe that I personally can more effectively shoulder the responsibility of “public services” – such as military, police, fire, and highway repair – all institutional operations that can and should be privatized in order to garner superior efficiency compared to government mismanagement. As part of the 1% that controls the majority of this nation’s wealth, I am better suited to make decisions regarding the overall finance of the rest of the country. This can be a difficult challenge at times - such as now, when 90% of the population is suffering from job loss, dwindling savings, and recession, and little cash is available to buy the products that those of us in the top 1% import and sell - but we’ll just wait it out at our estates in the Hamptons until things improve.
2) I am voting Republican because as a stanch conservative, I truly believe that even though my investment banking firm has been rescued by public monies, even though my self-serving ambition and greed have caused millions of 401Ks and IRAs to be disastrously, egregiously depleted, I deserve – yes, I am entitled to – an obscene, seven-figure bonus this year. I deserve such a reward even though my firm failed and bankrupted hundreds of thousands of individuals and companies, and “Joe the Plumber”, his grandchildren and great grandchildren will be burdened paying the resultant debt for the next few decades. I deserve a seven-figure bonus, though I know that average military troops who fight, suffer miserable conditions and die for this country are paid little more than $16,000 a year and can barely support their families. After all, I am irreplaceable “talent” and might go to some other firm – troops aren’t going anywhere but the VA.
3) I am voting Republican because I believe that billionaire hedge fund managers are entitled to special tax protection for their massive earnings, since conveniently engineered tax loopholes allow them to list a substantial portion of their compensation as capital gains, meaning their billions in earnings are taxed at 15%, as opposed to the 35% rate that applies to ordinary income, wages and salary. I like that. Obviously, if one is wealthy, ordinary tax laws should not be applicable, because extremely wealthy individuals - who comprise one percent of the American population - work long hours, manipulate vast sums of capital to the distinct advantage of other extremely wealthy individuals, and contribute to a thriving economy by regularly patronizing fancy restaurants in lower Manhattan.
4) I am voting Republican because I am a firm believer that government give-away health programs like Medicare should continue to be prevented from negotiating drug prices, such as is done by the Veterans Administration. Rescinding this barrier would jeopardize Big Pharma’s extraordinary profits and likewise, shareholders gains. No, I think Pharma needs to be protected from the wily, disabled elderly who always seem to be skulking about looking for ways to avoid paying premium prices in the US for medications that are readily available at significantly lower cost in Canada and Europe. Poor, sick people should either get a third job or work themselves up to an executive level six-figure salary, like everybody else. Besides, basic healthcare is a privilege of those who can afford it, that’s the American way – just ask Dr. William McGuire, former CEO of United Healthcare, who earned a salary of $125mil a year while UHC regularly denied payment of claims to subscribers who paid inordinately high monthly premiums. It’s business, not personal, right?
5) I am voting Republican because should we pull out of Iraq, what would happen to Boeing, Northrop Grumman and Halliburton? These people need their well-paid jobs! The neo-con way is to develop opportunity: first, decimate a country, then, develop opportunities to award billions of dollars of public taxpayer monies to private sector companies via no-bid, open-ended, blank check rebuild contracts. As the Madison Avenue boys say in advertising, “Create a need and fill that need.” I am a firm believer in the subsidization of private enterprise with public funding; or in other words, implementing an under-the-radar form of socialism/taxation that benefits the privileged few at the expense of others.
6) I am voting Republican because the days of Ellis Island are over. Yes, my grandparents came from Europe and spoke a language other than English; yes, I was the first in my family to have the benefit of a college education that enabled me to go on to become a successful entrepreneur and live a comfortable life, but those circumstances should not be extended to any other tired, poor, huddling masses yearning to breathe free. America is about Americans, the white Anglo-Saxon protestant Americans who founded this country (once they got rid of the Indians) and fought for independence against the tyranny of a corrupt government that drained the common man’s pockets to perpetuate the whims of a monarchy accustomed to enjoying luxury and power derived from the subservience and suffering of its colonial subjects.
7) I am voting Republican because there is no way, in good conscience, I can approve of law that would endanger the
life of the innocent unborn. Though I know full well that “partial birth abortion” is in no way a clinical term or medical definition and can be found nowhere in medical libraries since it is only a catchphrase devised by self-professed ‘pro-life’ lobbyists to engender political upheaval, I support laws that forbid this horrific practice. True, the mother may die since this rare medical procedure is generally performed only in dire circumstances when the mother’s life is at risk, but her husband and other innocent children will learn to live without their wife and mother in time. The government knows best when it comes to life and death. It is a conundrum that I am 'pro-life' but also support the death penalty, but few are incarcerated who have suffered all that much once current DNA technology has proven their innocence. A mistaken execution here and there is the price one pays for a safe society. I’m likewise appalled that Darwinist theory is part of our public school curriculum. Every God-fearing Christian has read their Bible and accepts the literal truth of Adam and Eve.
8) I am voting Republican because I am offended by the liberal media that slants every news report to the left by daring to ask in-depth questions and demanding accurate information about critical national issues from our political leaders. I prefer to listen to Fox “News” since they explain things in a more understandable, objective vernacular, and to read tabloids like the NY Post, another Rupert Murdoch endeavor, as opposed to publications that offer mainstream professional journalism. I believe that information reported by a global conglomerate headed by an Australian business tycoon who has no qualms about passing off sensationalist entertainment as solid reporting is more reliable than publications or news networks that raise responsible, justifiable questions or voice views in dissent to those of the current administration.
9) I am voting Republican because I am a firm believer in Drill Baby Drill. US oil dependency is the way it’s always been, why change now? Monopolistic, unregulated oil cartels that suck the life out of the American people – it’s the way things are meant to be, oil at home or oil from abroad. I also lobbied for tax breaks for the pencil manufacturing industry – before Gates and those PC computers ruined everything. The status quo is good enough for this patriot; science and research should stay out of the business world and be restricted to college labs where they belong.
10) And lastly, I am voting Republican because I believe that a policy embracing diversity and religious freedom is one of those half-cocked ideas that, although it may initially look impressive on paper - on documents such as the US Constitution and Bill of Rights, for example - it doesn’t really work to my liking when applied in my neighborhood. Gosh darn it; I believe that plain folks like John McCain, Sarah Palin, and George Dubya are the best this great country of ours has to offer. Today we need flag-wavin’, eye-winkin’ patriots who base economic strategies on continuing a national industry of war, as exemplified by Sarah Palin and John McCain. I once heard it said that Thomas Jefferson was a learned man of exceptional intellect, sophistication, and international savvy, but that was such a long time ago; today we need change.
I am voting republican to repudiate ideas of people like you. There is no questions that the global economy is slowing but my belief is that McCain is the one to make things better...not Obama!!
I cant stop laughing at your post, very well written. i am going to e-mail this out to all my family.
you know its great when the dumbocrates really hate what you have written!