Holy Moses, Mosesnoses!
Turns out you've struck on something.
Bein' a God-fearin' far, far right wing type of Republican like Mike Huckabee, I ain't never had reason nor the inkly-nation to look at no other guys equipment. I mean, sort of like Larry Craig, who had no idea he was giving gay signals because he didn't even probably really believe that gay people actually existed.
So anyway, I looked up 'penis' on Wikipedia (I hope female readers were as offended as I was by your crass slang), and after lookin' at the pictures, I see that my wee-wee is in fact on upside-down!
So, like dude, your totally random comment turns out to be exactly right. But what's wild is, I figured out about the zipper controversy.
One day I was at a baseball game, urinating in a public bathroom and some other guy walks in so I start to zip up real quick in case the faggot wanted to try to cop a peek at my pecker. Well, I get that sensitive, soft, baggy skin that holds my nu-nu's in caught in the zipper (just the wee-wee is upside-down, the nu-nu's are in the correct place), and sure enough one of them puppies pops out. Splashed right into my puddle of piss.
With the North Face system that can't happen!!!!Because you're zippin' down!!!!