It is more like the elves are probably slave laborers. After all Santa has no visible means of support! Where would he get money to pay the elves? And where does he get the raw materials to manufacture the toys? The North pole is not exactly rich in natural resources considering it is sitting on the Arctic ice pack with nuclear armed American and Russian ballistic missile submarines prowling beneath it and would see any funny business Santa was up to.
I really think the SEC and the UN need to look into exactly how this Santa character is able to do what he does. Sure he gives away alot of crap, but where does it come from? I mean, really! This scandal could dwarf that of Enron, Worldcom and all the other scandals combines. This could just be the tip of the iceberg..the mother of all scandals!
Maybe there are secret sub bases under the Arctic ice pack and Santa and his elves are just a cover for a secret plan for the US and the Russians to dominate the globe.
That would go a long way towards explaining where all that money in the US military budget that is known as "Classified Secret Military Projects" really goes and where Santa really gets his financing. Some say Santa is really a cocaine dealer (hence they think "Snow" is really a code word for a cocaine shipment - i.e. "It snowing real hard up here at the North Pole and Rudolphs nose is really getting red (from being all coked up)"
Ken Starr?? I doubt it. He is probably in on it too! I really think we need a truly independent investigator. I suppose any space alien race that does not currently deal with any Earth government would do. I will check my little black book from back when I was Vice President; I was in charge of cutting deals with alien races back then you know. I know a few races who refused to play ball with the US and Russia.