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  • musketeernumberone musketeernumberone Jun 21, 2011 4:29 PM Flag

    American Capitalism: Big Hat, No Cattle

    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM -- You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

    FRENCH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

    A JAPANESE CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon(tm) and market them world-wide.

    A GERMAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

    A BRITISH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. Both are mad.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

    Contunued...

    SortNewest  |  Oldest  |  Most Replied Expand all replies
    • Brazilian Corporation: You have two cows. Labor court gives cows to lady who milked them because she didn't have the carteira asinada and fines the corporation $10,000. (Signed worker's card) Her family then has a big churrasco (BBQ).

    • HI MUsk ,
      uummm , ok.
      Picanha is not latin americas favorute cut, It's brazil's favorite cut. It is not used in Uruguay or Argentina . Not to mention , the difference in cow " races " ...so different cut, different cow, different feeding.
      I will give you the Buenos Aires bad "tourist "restaurant thing.Lots of crooks in BA.

      Now to say that U.S beef is better than Argentinian Angus because it has more fat and is better aged is just NOT true.
      To say it is NOT edible is simply outrageous, even more than the overated Malbec comment. It would insult me if i was Argentine.
      I have lived in 10 countries travelled over 60.
      Argentina is a shi(t) place for sure in many ways ,and i'm sick of it and them on many fronts.
      But this is the country where i have had THE best beef in my life , BY FAR !! Can't wait for the day to prove it to you in a good way.

    • Bon Apetit!

      I am a New York Strip guy... NY pizza, too!

    • Wow! I guess we really have it made hear in the USA.

      I guess the only positive to Brazilian steak is that it is healthier. No doubt the fat gives our steaks flavor.

      Picanha.....can't say I've seen that cut at the local grocery lol.

      I'll stick with a Porterhouse lol!

      Truth be told, I do like lean cuts like sirloin for the most part.

      Gotta eat dinner now! Pizza tonight.

    • Ya.. churasco is BBQ...

      Those Brazilian steak houses are good but make sure they serve american beef - LOL.

      (The following should light a fire under the closet-brazilians and argies on this board... nothing like impugning someone elses sacred cow... pun intended!)

      Most american beef is corn-fed or fattened. In a good steak-house you will get aged beef. These are the things that make beef delicious: Grain, aging and marbling (fat in the muscle). Grass-fed, lean, un-aged steak (90% of Brazilian and Argentine beef) is dry, tough, grassy-flavored and barely edible.

      Or how about Latin Americas favorite cut... Picanha. Tough steak with a 1/4 inch cap of fat to give it *flavor*.

      A pal went on to Buenos Aires after visiting me here in Brazil. He went to a restaurant and ordered a steak. Tough and fatty. The waiter asks: Isnt the steak great? His response: No.

      Now, to be fair: You can buy aged beef here its 2-3x more costly than your average cut (like in the USA), but at least its edible.

    • A SWISS CORPORATION -- You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

      A HINDU CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You worship them.

      A CHINESE CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

      ENRON CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

      ARTHUR ANDERSON, LLC -- You have 2 cows. You shred all documents that Enron has any cows, take 2 cows from Enron for payment for consulting the cows, and attest that Enron has 9 cows.

 
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