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Corning Inc. Message Board

  • wgboxman wgboxman Dec 4, 2012 11:00 AM Flag

    Begin each day with a laugh

    Q: What do you get when you offer a Liberal a penny for his thoughts?
    A: Change.

    Q: How do you confuse a Liberal?
    A: You don't. They're born that way.

    Q: Why is it good to have a Democrat passenger?
    A: You can park in the handicap zone.

    Q: What's the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal?
    A: Elvis has been sighted.

    A Democrat died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars.
    "Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Democrat? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"

    Q: How do you keep a Democrat busy?
    A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

    Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy all day?
    A: Put him in a round room and tell him to wait in the corner.

    Q: What do you call a Democrat with an IQ of 130?
    A: A foursome

    Q: How do you get a one-armed Liberal out of a tree?
    A: Wave to him.

    Q: What do you call a basement full of Liberals?
    A: A whine cellar.

    Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
    A: 144 Democrats.

    Q: What is foreplay for a Democrat?
    A: Thirty minutes of begging.

    Q: What is the Democrat doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
    A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

    Q: Why did the Liberal have blisters on his lips?
    A: From trying to blow out lightbulbs.

    Q: Why do Liberals work seven days a week?
    A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

    A Democrat found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, "I will grant you one wish." He said, "I wish I were smarter". So the genie made him a Republican.

    Q: What the difference between a Democrat and the rear end of a horse?
    A: I don't know either.

    Q: How is a Liberal different from a sewer rat?
    A: Some people actually like sewer rats.

    Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: None. They prefer to walk in the dark.

    Q: Why do so many Liberals live in L.A.?
    A: It’s the only city that is easy enough for them to spell.

    Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
    A: A Democrat parade.

    Q: What is it called when a Liberal blows in another Liberal’s ear?
    A: Data transfer.

    Q: Why don't they let Liberals swim in the ocean?
    A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.

    Q: How do you plant dope?
    A: Bury a Democrat.

    Q: What's the difference between a Liberal and a sack of manure?
    A: The sack.

    Q: What's the definition of a Democrat running for Congress for the first time?
    A: A mouse trying to become a rat.

    Q: What's the difference between God and a Democrat?
    A: God knows He's not a Democrat.

    Sentiment: Buy

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