Dubya applies to pentagon to become official "war artist".
Dubya to be official US war artist
Written by queen mudder
Topics: George W. Bush, Syria
Thursday, 5 September 2013
Bush had his pet Barney stuffed to preserve him - just weeks before the mutt died!
Midland, Texarse - "Dogs of war, huh?" Bush grunted as his latest picture of Obama pooches Bo and Sunni [sic] in gas mask and canine flak jacket outfits made pride of place at the Dallas International Art Gallery.
The former US president, currently self reinvented as an accomplished dog portraitist, has applied to be the Pentagon's official war artist amid rising expectations of an American blitz on Syrian sarin silos.
The civil war-ton Middle Eastern country is named after Sirius the Dog Star, a double asterism in the constellation Canis Major ['Big Dog'] consisting of Sirius A - a white main-sequence star of spectral type A1V - and its faint white dwarf companion Sirius B**.
Citing his credentials before an official military art interview board this week Bush Jr pointed out his impressive portfolio of mutts and hounds is just one small step away from actual combat stuff 'like dead bodies' and Tomahawk cruise missals.
"Why, only last week I had the honor of painting Queen Elizabeth's trusty #$%$ Kate," Dubya chuckled, "and a couple of royal corgis called Cameron and Clegg."
No other contenders are in the frame for the unsalaried post which carries generous expenses, including free dog biscuits and grooming aids.
Expect a decision about Dubya's appointment to be announced just as soon as Congress completes its Syrian War debate.
** Dubya's Mexican sister-in-law and wife of his brother Jeb, Columba Garnica Gallo Bush, is named after Columba, a companion constellation close to both Canis Major and it's little brother Canis Minor [Latin for 'Little Dog']