I been clean and sober 18 years and I never saw a guy with a better denial system then you got. Like most addicts, you have above average intelligence so you know of course, that all this public display of self-pity, rage and grandiosity means that you're getting ready to drug again. And when you give dirty urine, your parole officer is not gonna be happy. Life doesn't have to be this hard son......there's an easier and smarter way to live. Let me know if I can help.In the meantime, BE A MAN AND QUIT STINKING UP THE BOARD!!