A man took his wife to the Rodeo and one of the exhibits was of breeding bulls. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign that said "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife poked her husband in the ribs and said, "He mated 50 times last year."
They walked a little farther and saw another pen with a sign that said: "This bull mated 120 times last year." The wife hit her husband and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."
They walked farther and a third pen had a bull with a sign saying: "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife got really excited and said, "That's once a day. You really could learn something from this one."
The husband looked at her and said, "Go and ask him if it was with the same cow."
A Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a letter from his girlfriend named Lisa.
In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. AND, she wanted pictures of herself back.
So the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find. He then mailed about 25 pictures of women (with clothes and without) to his girlfriend with the following note:
"I don't remember which one you are. Please keep your picture and send the rest back"