Ironically, I see this morning that some of those folks who are not at all pleased with the outcome of the election have decided to sign symbolic petitions to secede from the United States.
I say “ironically” because I just got this from a friend (origination unknown). I don’t know if this was in response to the petitions or not, but, regardless, it suggests that their secession might not be such a bad idea. This is obviously written tongue in cheek, as I can’t recall previous times when losing the election caused sore losers to whine about starting their own country. I thought democracy meant standing united behind the will of the majority, not “if I don’t get my own way I’m gonna’ take my ball and go home. Boo-Hoo.”
A Message to the Red States
We're tired of your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and we've decided we're leaving.
We in the Blue States intend to form our own country.
In case you aren't aware, this will include California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the rest of the Northeast.
We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country of The Enlightened States of America (E.S.A).
To sum up briefly:
You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the Rocky Mountains.
We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal and Todd Akin.
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.
We get Google, Apple, Yahoo and Tesla. You get Colonel Sanders.
We get Stanford. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85 percent of America’s venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.
With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners), 90% of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulphur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Princeton, Cal Tech and MIT.
With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.
We get Olympic National Park and Yosemite, thank you.
38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11, and 61% of you crazy bas#ards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.
We're taking the good weed too. You can have that crap they grow in Mexico.
Citizen of the Enlightened States of America
I agree with the OP post, don't forget to dig up all the airports, no more wasteful FAA, maybe they can travel by boats to cuba or something and catch a plane.
Last but not least, we are all from the same parents, all.
"Last but not least, we are all from the same parents, all."
The Bible and science agree on this reality. If someone doesn't believe it, where do they get their reference material, astrology, faux hoax news? haw haw haw
"A Message to the Red States :
We're tired of your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and we've decided we're leaving."
Ohh, it's just the whiney Bill Mahr type of secularist asshats. In that case, don't let the door bang your butt on the way out. Good ridance !
Hey sparkey, if you don't like don't read it. I think most of the message subjects should lead you away from any political posts assuming you're smart enough to make that call. Besides, the only thing to talk about with respect to the stock market since the election is how TERRIBLE it has been. Some are saying it is a buying opportunity, but not if you're buying into a continually sinking market.
It Obama and buddies don't get something passed to solve the immediate tax and spend problems; anything you just bought will be near worthless soon. I heard one Democratic lady saying they should just let us fall off the cliff so that they could blame the Republicans and give Democrats a stronger negotiating position. Does that sound like an economic decision which will create a stock market in which you want to participate?
These Democrats don’t care about you and I or our money; they care about power, the power to make the financial decisions for this country which they have failed at for the past 20 years.
According to the President and his 'spokes people' they didn't build that and they must have stolen the money or at least cheated everyone around them. Tax them, tax them to death!
Speaking of ‘spokes people’, if you can go to he$$ for lying, Carney better get to packing; he just said, out loud, in front of God and everyone, that this administration has been totally transparent in the Libya issue. Does he actually think even the MSM fools sitting in front of him aren’t laughing their butts off?