Zynga, Inc. Message Board

  • stagetec100 stagetec100 Dec 6, 2012 12:03 PM Flag

    Somali Pirates in Discussions to Acquire Zynga, Inc

    The Somali pirates, renegade Somalis known for hijacking ships for ransom in the Gulf of Aden, are negotiating a purchase of Zynga, Inc .The pirates would buy Zynga, Inc with new debt and their existing cash stockpiles, earned most recently from hijacking numerous ships. Head pirate, Ubu Kalid Shandu, said: "We need Zynga, Inc and its gambling license so that we have a place to keep all of our ransom money. Thankfully, the dislocations in the capital markets has allowed us to purchase Zynga, Inc at an attractive valuation and to take advantage of TARP capital to grow the business even faster.
    The Somali pirates are offering up to 10 cents per share for Zynga, Inc, pirate spokesman Sugule Ali said earlier today. The negotiations have entered the final stage, Ali said. ”You may not like our price, but we are not in the business of paying for things. Be happy we are in the mood to offer the shareholders anything,” said Ali. The pirates will finance part of the purchase by selling new Pirate Ransom Backed Securities. The PRBS’s are backed by the cash flows from future ransom payments from hijackings in the Gulf of Aden. Moody’s and S&P have already issued a AAA investment grade rating for the PRBS’s. The deal is backed by the Mexican drug cartels , sex slave industry,and Warren Buffett.Head pirate, Ubu Kalid Shandu said, "We don't call ourselves pirates. We are coastguards and this will just allow us to guard our coasts better."

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