From: bonnuss_in_austin Wednesday, Apr 19, 2000 �7:14 PM ET Reply # of 15438
"The Snow Story"
I'm reprinting this from a poster on a Yahoo! message board who called him- or herself "The Dorito Girl" ... don't know if that's with permission or not, but I've sent it all over the country in email ...
Some of you might find as humorous as I do -- hope the profanity doesn't get ME sidelined off this board!
OT - The Snow Story 11/11/1999 by: TheDoritoGirl (26/F/In your dreams)
Jan. 8 - 5:00 PM. It's starting to snow. The first of the season, and the first one we've seen in years. The wife and I took our hot buttered rums and sat by the picture window, watching the flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was beautiful!
Jan. 9 - We woke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Every tree and shrub is covered in a beautiful white mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and loved it. I did both our driveway and our sidewalk. Later a city snowplow came along and accidentally covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved, I waved back and shoveled it again.
Jan 10 - It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature has dropped to around 11 degrees. Several limbs on the trees and shrubs snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shoveled our driveway again. Shortly afterwards the snowplow came by and did his trick again. Much of the snow is now brownish gray.
Jan 11 - Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became ice when the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tires for both cars. Fell on my ass in the driveway. $145 to the chiropractor, but nothing was broken. More snow and ice expected.
Jan 12 - Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought a 4x4 in order to get her to work. Slid into a guardrail and did a considerable amount of damage to the right rear quarter panel. Had another 8 inches of the white shit last night. Both vehicles covered in salt and crud. More shoveling in store for me today. That goddamn snowplow came by twice today.
Jan 13 - 2 degrees outside. More fucking snow. Not a tree or shrub on our property that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a kerosene heater which tipped over and nearly burned the house down. I managed to put the flames out, but suffered 2nd degree burns on hands and lost all my eyelashes and eyebrows. Car slid on ice on way to emergency room and was totaled.
Jan 14 - Goddamn mother fucking white shit keeps on coming down. Have to put on all the clothes we own just to make it to the fucking mailbox. If I ever catch the son-of-a-bitch that drives the snowplow I'll chew open his chest and rip out his heart. I think he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then comes down the street at about 1200 miles an hour and buries our driveway again! Power still off. Toilet froze and part of the roof has started to cave in.
Jan 15 - 6 goddamn more fucking inches of fucking snow and fucking ice and god knows what other kind of fucking shit fell last night. I wounded the fucking snowplow asshole with an ice ax, but he got away. Wife left me. Car won't start. I think I'm going snowblind. I can't move my toes. Haven't seen the sun in weeks. More snow predicted. Wind chill -22 fucking degrees. I'm moving back to Florida!!