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  • jenthico jenthico Oct 24, 2008 3:10 PM Flag

    Bush's resignation speach...

    The following 'speech' was written recently by an ordinary Maine resident of the People's Republic of Maine. While satirical in nature, all satire must have a basis in fact to be effective. This is an excellent piece by a person who does not write for a living.

    The speech George W. Bush might give:

    "Normally, I start these things out by saying 'My Fellow Americans.' Not doing it this time. If the polls are any indication, I don't know who more than half of you are anymore. I do know something terrible has happened, and that you're really not fellow Americans any longer.

    I'll cut right to the chase here: I quit. Now before anyone gets all in a lather about me quitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid prosecution or something, let me assure you: There's been no breaking of laws or impeachable offenses in this office.

    The reason I'm quitting is simple. I'm fed up with you people. I'm fed up because you have no understanding of what's really going on in the world. Or of what's going on in this once-great nation of ours. And the majority of you are too d***** lazy to do your homework and figure it out.

    Let's start local. You've been sold a bill of goods by politicians and the news media.

    Meanwhile, all you can do is whine about gas prices, and most of you are too stupid to realize that gas prices are high because there's increased demand in other parts of the world, and because a small handful of noisy idiots are more worried about polar bears and beachfront property than your economic security.

    We face real threats in the world. Don't give me this 'blood for oil' thing. If I were trading blood for oil I would've already seized Iraq 's oil fields and let the rest of the country go to hell. And don't give me this 'Bush Lied...People Died' crap either. If I were the liar you morons take me for, I could've easily had chemical weapons planted in Iraq so they could be 'discovered.' Instead, I owned up to the fact that the intelligence was faulty.

    Let me remind you that the rest of the world thought Saddam had the goods, same as me. Let me also remind you that regime change in Iraq was official US policy before I came into office. Some guy named ' Clinton ' established that policy. Bet you didn't know that, did you?

    Now some of you morons want to be led by a junior senator with no understanding of foreign policy or economics, and this nitwit says we should attack Pakistan , a nuclear ally. And then he wants to go to Iran and make peace with a terrorist who says he's going to destroy us. While he's doing that, he wants to give Iraq to al Qaeda , Afghanistan to the Taliban, Israel to the Palestinians, and your money to the IRS so the government can give welfare to illegal aliens, who he will make into citizens, so they can vote to re-elect him. He also thinks it's okay for Iran to have nuclear weapons, and we should stop our foreign aid to Israel . Did you sleep through high school?

    You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy. Back during the cold war, there were two major competing political and economic models squaring off. We won that war, but we did so because fundamentally, the Communists wanted to survive, just as we do. We were simply able to out spend and out-tech them.

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    • Pretty obvious that the creator doesn't "write for a living". It looks like the kind of drivel that moron Bush WOULD write.

    • what "MONEY" do we have left ???

    • He could have made his resignation a lot shorter by just admitting that what most intelligent people already know he was a mindless idiot not qualified for the job and took almost 8 years to realize it short and simple and to the point and should have apologized to the American citizens rich and poor who he has brought financial hardship too.

      • 2 Replies to park69avenue
      • Kindly take your head out of your rectum! If Bill Clinton had only done HIS job in the first place, all of this shit right now could have been prebvented from Iraq to the frigging financial mess. Two years of Democratic Control in congress, Barney Frank, Chris Dodd, Chuck Schumer, all friends of Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac and their lobbyiest friends told us over and over,"Nothing is wrong with Fannie" It's the best thing that ever happened" RIGHT! Loan people money who were not qualifed for a loan and unable to pay for it. Issue credit cards to people who didn't qualify for them because they didn't make enough to qualify for them. OH YES. IT'S ALL GW BUSH'S FAULT, YOU MORON !!!

      • I see you read the speech!

    • Good riddance!

    • That's not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy don't care if they survive. In fact, they want to die. That'd be fine, as long as they weren't also committed to taking as many of you with them as they can. But they are. They want to kill you, and the b******** are all over the globe.

      You should be grateful that they haven't gotten any more of us here in the United States since September 11. But you're not. That's because you've got no idea how hard a small number of intelligence, military, law enforcement, and homeland security people have worked to make sure of that. When this whole mess started, I warned you that this would be a long and difficult fight. I'm disappointed how many of you people think a long and difficult fight amounts to a single season of 'Survivor.'

      Instead, you've grown impatient. You're incapable of seeing things through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think that wars should last a few months, a few years, tops.

      Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy. Every time you buy the New York Times, every time you send a donation to a cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, well, dang it, you might just as well Fed Ex a grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts to the same thing.

      In this day and age, it's easy enough to find the truth. It's all over the Internet. It just isn't on the pages of the New York Times, USA Today, or on NBC News. But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any smarter. Most of you would rather watch American Idol or Dancing with Stars.

      I could say more about your expectations that the government will always be there to bail you out, even if you're too stupid to leave a city that's below sea level and has a hurricane approaching.

      I could say more about your insane belief that government, not your own wallet, is where the money comes from. But I've come to the conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right over your heads.

      So I quit. I'm going back to Crawford. I've got an energy-efficient hou se down there (Al Gore could only dream) and the capability to be fully self-sufficient for years. No one ever heard of Crawford before I got elected, and as soon as I'm done here pretty much no one will ever hear of it again. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to die of old age before the last pillars of America fall.

      Oh, and by the way, Cheney's quitting too. That means Pelosi is your new President. You asked for it. Watch what she does carefully, because I still have a glimmer of hope that there are just enough of you remaining who are smart enough to turn this thing around in 2008.

      So that's it. God bless what's left of America .

      Some of you know what I mean. The rest of you, kiss off.

      PS - You might want to start learning Farsi, and buy a Koran.

      Just a little to be added due to the current situation....

      Some of you are so stupid that you don't even realize that it was the Democrats, all the way back to Clinton and before that caused the economic crisis we face today. They, the Democrats, blocked an attempt to rein in the junk loans that the Democrats were "forcing" on the markets. The CEO's of those institutions are now in prominent places in Obama's campaign and you look the other way. The Democrats jumped with glee when they thought that they could get their hands on some of the $700 Billions for ACORN. Pelosi should be run out of town on a rail for all her "leadership" qualities, oh but wait, she's from San Francisco . That explains a lot! If Obama is elected hang on, the America that we grew up in will be gone forever."

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