We have reporters at the Washington Post and at The Guardian. We have Julian Assange, the head of Wikileaks. They're all talking to Snowden. The NSA can spy on them. Right? Can listen to their calls and read their emails and hack into their notes. Just like people have been hacking into the work and home computers of Sharyl Attkisson, star CBS investigative reporter.
But the NSA can't do all this spying and then use it to find Snowden. Just can't manage it.
So...everybody in the world with a computer has passwords. The NSA can cut through them like a sword through hot butter. But Assange and the Post and Guardian and Snowden must have super-special passwords.
They got these passwords by sending a stamped self-addressed envelope, along with 25 cents, and a top from a cereal box, to The Lone Ranger. These passwords are charged with atomic clouds that obscure men's minds so they cannot see or spy. They're immortal and invulnerable.
The NSA can spy on anyone else in the world, but they can't get their foot in the door, when it comes to the Post, The Guardian, and Assange.
And if Snowden winds up in Ecuador, that too will become an insurmountable mystery.
"Nope, we don't know where he is. He's vanished. Ecuador has a Romulan shield surrounding it. The cloaking technology is too advanced."
Perhaps you recall that, in the early days of this scandal, Snowden claimed he could spy on anyone in the US, including a federal judge or even the president, if he had their email addresses.
Uh-huh. But the combined talents of the NSA, now, can't spy on Snowden. I guess they just can't find his email address.
Snowden isn't the only savvy computer kid in the country. There must be a million people, at minimum, who can cook up email addresses that evade the reach of the NSA. Yes?
What we have here are contradictions piled on contradictions piled on lies.