Recent

% | $
Quotes you view appear here for quick access.

ProShares UltraShort Financials Message Board

  • flydick flydick Jan 4, 2009 10:51 AM Flag

    Men v. Women

    One Liners | Stories | Lists/Top 10 | General Audience | Adult Only
    Category: Page through all jokes Bar Jokes Work/School Redneck Blonde Relationships The Elderly Occasions Sports Political Gender Slam Animals Miscellaneous Ethnic Body parts Rude Religious Media Doctors Sex Computer About Kids Criticism Lawyer For Kids Idiots Puns Your Momma Cute Military Geography Drunks Sex Jokes About Search:

    Presently viewing... What gender is a computer?
    Audience: General Humor Rating: Category: Gender Slam Type: Stories
    An English teacher was explaining to his students the concept of gender association in the English language.

    He stated how hurricanes at one time were given feminine names and how ships and planes were usually referred to as "she". One of the students raised their hand and asked - "What gender is a computer"?

    The teacher wasn't certain which it was, so he divided the class into two groups, males in one, females in the other, and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation. The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:

    1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
    2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
    3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
    4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.

    The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:
    1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
    2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
    3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
    4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

    Good morning all yous' guys!

    SortNewest  |  Oldest  |  Most Replied Expand all replies
    • cute...

      • 1 Reply to pp38h45869j4
      • Saving money

        A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?'

        The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?'

        The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.

        When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.' He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says good bye.

        The next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.

        This happens several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave..

        Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?'

        The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything.

        She's married; so we can't go to her house.

        I'm married; and we can't go to my house.
        The Holiday Inn charges $98
        The Hilton charges $139
        We do it here for $50, and Medicare pays $43 of it leaving my net cost $7.

 
SKF
47.29+0.25(+0.53%)May 21 4:00 PMEDT