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  • unclefulbert unclefulbert May 10, 2013 3:50 PM Flag

    Ahem! Don't forget Mother's Day Sunday

    My mother taught me

    a.. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"

    b.. My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

    c.. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

    d.. My mother taught me LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why."

    e.. My mother taught me FORESIGHT - "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

    f.. My mother taught me IRONY - "Keep laughing and I'll *give* you something to cry about."

    g.. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

    h.. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM - "Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

    i.. My mother taught me about STAMINA - "You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."

    j.. My mother taught me about WEATHER - "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

    k.. My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS - "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"

    l.. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY - "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!"

    m.. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

    n.. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION - "Stop acting like your father!"

    o.. My mother taught me about ENVY - "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

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    • Yes! Do sth special this year for your mom to appreciate and celebrate the life itself.

      Btw, Mother’s Day: Hooters Offering Moms Free Drink, Free Dinner
       

      Hooters, the Atlanta-based chain best-known for its scantily-clad waitresses, is trying to broaden its customer base to include more females, and of course, moms. The restaurant’s 430 locations will offer moms a free drink and entrée (up to $10) for Mother’s Day dinner. (Last year Hooters gave away free chicken wings to 15,000 moms). Dave Henninger, Hooters’ chief marketing officer, told USA Today that he expects more than 20,000 moms will dine at a Hooters this Sunday.

 
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