I know what you are saying is a joke, but seriously, do you really think you could trust Ackman? I don't and besides his $1 BILL bet is now about $2 BILL in the red and he is going to have to cough up over $32 MILL if he doesn't cover before ex-dividend day. I seriously doubt if this guy has any cash to pay anybody anything. In fact, he may be borrowing money so he can buy a copy of the WSJ and pay his internet bill.
Don't know if I would accept a check from Ackman now for any amount of money and I doubt if he could afford to hire someone for $1 million. Classic case of a guy with an ego that exceeds his skill level. His predictions on JCP and now HLF proove that he is utterly clueless.