Wed, May 8, 2013 at 8:18 AM8:18 AMMessage starred FROM David Spadoni TO 2 recipients Sanford’s Comeback Gives Hope to Liars Show Details FromDavid Spadoni ToK Spadoni S Swiatek Sanford’s Comeback Gives Hope to Liars
CHARLESTON, S.C. (The Borowitz Report)—Former South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford’s stunning upset in a special congressional election on Tuesday served as an inspiration to liars across the state and beyond, prominent members of the lying community said tonight.
“In America, liars are always made to feel bad about ourselves, as if what we’re doing is wrong,” said Harland Dorrinson, fifty-seven, a liar from suburban Charleston. “Mark Sanford’s victory tonight is a victory for the lying lifestyle.”
Carol Foyler, thirty-six, a liar from Myrtle Beach, echoed those sentiments: “For the millions of dishonest children across America, tonight Mark Sanford has given them hope that someday, they can be somebody.”
At his victory rally in Charleston, the former governor acknowledged the liars in the audience and said that his victory sent an important message: “Every lie, no matter how big or small, has value.”
“As your Governor, I abused your trust. And as God is my witness, as your congressman, I will abuse it again,” he said, to thunderous applause.
Mr. Sanford, who had been behind in the polls in the waning weeks of the race, owed much of his last-minute surge to the support of the lying community, exit polls showed.
According to those exit polls, Mr. Sanford held a three-to-one lead among voters who described themselves as liars, cheaters, or sleazebags.
Furthermore, the polls showed, those same voters felt that Mr. Sanford’s opponent, Elizabeth Colbert Busch, did not have the lying experience necessary to serve in Congress.
South Carolina voters are values voters who simply voted for a man who reflects their morals and beliefs, Their values ? If you have an "R" after your name on the ballot, you're their kind of canddfate.
Never mind that he lied to voters and his staff and quit his post to leave the country to go spend qualkity time with his babe who was not his wife.
South Carolina: If values voters are ever found among repugnantcons, they will be found elsewhere. SC voters, you should be proud. You have covered yourselves in glory. You elected yet another Repugnantcon. (I wonder what the other 12 repugnantcon candidate in the primary were like. :-)
Dumbocrats never look at the numbers, they just believe whatever Obama tells them. Blacks love Obama even with a 19% Unemployment rate and 49M on food stamps with free medical just around the corner. Obama is the first Dead Beat President, no wonder why blacks love this man.