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  • ertsinvestor ertsinvestor Sep 7, 2001 11:23 AM Flag

    More funny than Drac's blonde jokes....

    Sega aims to be top game maker
    By Reuters
    September 7, 2001, 6:20 a.m. PT
    TOKYO--Japanese game maker Sega said on Friday it aimed to become the No. 1 game software maker in the world, on the back of its future lineup of titles for leading consoles.

    Chief Operating Officer Tetsu Kayama said in an interview that Sega aimed to raise its share of the U.S. and Japanese markets to 15 percent in the 2003/04 business year, from around 5 percent now.

    The company is also targeting a 12 percent share of the European market, up from 3 percent.

    �Our goal is to become the world's largest game software provider,� Kayama said.

    Sega, known for its �Sonic The Hedgehog� game character, aims to sell 35 million units of game software globally in 2003/04--15 million in the United States, 10 million in Japan and 10 million in Europe.

    Sega abandoned production of its Dreamcast console earlier this year and shifted focus to its healthier software business, developing games for other platforms such as Sony PlayStation 2 and Nintendo's Game Boy Advance.

    Kayama said the company's April-September earnings are on track to meet its forecast.

    In May, Sega forecast an operating profit of nearly $2.5 million for April-September, against a loss of $233 million for the same period last year.

    �It's not only amusement equipment sales, our overall business has been solid so far this business year,� Kayama said. He declined to give specific figures.

    Kayama also said Sega's restructuring plan, mapped out in April, was progressing smoothly.

    Under the plan, Sega aims to return to profit in the 2001/02 business year and to raise return on equity to more than 15 percent in 2003/04.

    Shares in Sega closed up 0.75 percent on Friday, outperforming the key Nikkei average, which fell 1.25 percent. Its shares have risen nearly 20 percent since January 31, when Sega announced it would stop making the Dreamcast console.

    Goldman Sachs last week raised its rating on Sega to �market outperformer� from �market performer.�

    It said that Sega's current business was operating above expectations, partly due to upbeat sales of its arcade game machines boosted by �Virtua Fighter 4,� the latest version of the long-running hit game.

    Multiplatform strategy
    The global game-console market is bracing for a major battle with the arrival of Nintendo's GameCube next Friday in Japan and the November debut of Microsoft's Xbox system in the United States.

    Kayama said sales of the new generation of game consoles were likely to peak at around 23 million units in Japan.

    �Given the momentum of the front-runner PlayStation 2, with its shipment already topping 6 million in Japan, Sony is likely to take a majority share here in the console war,� Kayama said.

    Sega, which has already released one title for the handheld Game Boy Advance, is set to launch a title for GameCube on the day the new console hits the shelves.

    �The largest number of our development projects are for PlayStation 2, but we will offer games for other machines by carefully choosing suitable lineups for each console to match their core customer bases and needs,� Kayama said.

    Microsoft hopes its Xbox, which has a built-in hard drive and Internet connection, will have an edge over PlayStation 2, whose users need to buy a hard disk and external modem.

    �Given the built-in online capability, we can start developing online games for the Xbox. But it is difficult to do so for PlayStation 2 since we don't know how many PlayStation users will buy accessories to link it to the network,� Kayama said.

    Sega said earlier this year that it would collaborate with Sony in developing online games.

    �We are talking closely with Sony on a strategy to boost the number of online users among PlayStation 2 holders. We can't say where we stand on that right's top secret,�

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    • Good one, Speculawyer. Are you a lawyer? If you are, I hope you have a sense of humor.

      A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely.

      When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.

      "Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeeemer!!!", he whined.

      "You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer. "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"

      "Oh my gaaaad...", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was.

      "Where's my Rolex???!!!!"

    • >Here is one for the road. I hope you are not a lawyer,

      Q. How do you tell the difference between a dead lawyer on the road and a dead skunk on the road?

      A. There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

      Q. What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
      A. A good start.

      Q. How do you tell the difference between two lawyers in a Porche and a Porcupine?
      A. With a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside.

    • Here's one more (my friends are feeding these to me now, just so that I can compete!) -

      A blind man and his guide dog enter a bar and find their way to
      a barstool. After ordering a drink and sitting there for a
      while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna
      hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately becomes absolutely
      quiet.In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him
      says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The
      bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I'm a 6' tall,
      200 lb. blonde with a black belt in karate. What's more, the
      woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's a weight lifter.
      The lady to your right is a blonde and she's a pro wrestler.
      Think about it seriously, mister. You still wanna tell that
      joke?" The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to
      explain it five times."

      Ok, the handle comes from what I used to do before I traded for a living. I was a writer. And guess what kind of stuff I wrote? Maybe, if the market starts acting normal again, I will do more of that and less of this!

      Have a great weekend!!!

    • That was a good one.

      You would like to think you get to get the last word, eh, Draconeus? Sorry to spoil your fun. Anyhow, what does your handle stand for ? A dragon slayer in the dungeon?

      Have a great weekend!

    • No, not a lawyer, just a lowly day trader!

      One more (I always have to have the last word!). The key to this one is really in the delivery. It works best when you're loaded, standing on a table with a lampshade on your head. Practise it - you'll be the life of the party!!!!

      A bear walks into a bar, walks up to the bartender and orders a beer.

      The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve beer to bears in this bar."

      The bear gets mad, bangs on the bar and says, "I want a beer"

      The bartender say "Sorry, we don't serve beer to bears in this bar, especially not to bears who bang on bars."

      Now the gets really mad and he bellows, "I want a beer!"

      The bartender says " Sorry, we don't serve beer to bears in this bar, especially not to beers who bellow in bars and and bears who bang on bars!"

      Now the bear is really angry. He grabs a barmaid and bashes her. "I want a beer!" he says.

      The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to bears in this bar, especially not to bears who bash barmaids in bars and bears who bellow in bars and bears who bang on bars!"

      Now the bear is really pissed. He takes a big bite out of the bar, chews it up, swallows it down and says "I want a beer!!!!"

      "Sorry, " says the bartender, "We don't serve beer to bears on drugs!"

      The bear is confused. "What do mean?" he says. "I'm not on drugs!"

      "Oh come on," says the bartender, "I just saw that bar-bit-tu-ate!"

    • Whoops! Sorry for the blond moment there. As usual, stereotypes show through loud and clear. Have you seen the movie 'Legally Blonde'? ...

      Here is one for the road. I hope you are not a lawyer,

      A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot the plane started to go down.

      Finally the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out. Unfortunately there were only three parachutes remaining. The doctor grabbed one and said, "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out. The lawyer then said, "I'm the smartest man in the world, I deserve to live!" He grabbed a parachute and jumped.

      The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."

      The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The smartest man in the world just took off with my backpack."

    • Think about it! Thanks for the website!

      Oh . . . just one more -

      One blonde says to her friend: "Yesterday I got raked by three men"

      Other Blonde: "Not 'raked', raped, you idiom!"

    • Err.. Drac hon', are you are holding something?! What does the air freshener have anything to do with her driving?

      Here is a website with blonde jokes. Enjoy.

    • You're really fast! Ok, here's another one -

      As the blonde was driving home, she was swerving left, the right, then left then right.
      A cop sees her, pulls her over, and asks "What's the problem?"

      The blonde answers "There was this tree, then another one, then another one, they just wouldn't stop coming!"

      The cop says "Lady, that's your air freshener."

    • Draconeus, you will enjoy this one! Revenge of the blonde.

      A man was on holiday in the Caribbean and liking the continual good weather settled down for a day's sunbathing. Well, after a whole day his legs were sunburned beyond belief and he could hardly stand for the pain.

      So he goes along to the doctor for treatment. The doctor looks at his sunburned legs and said, "Well, you realize that this is only a small village clinic and in reality I've really got nothing at all to help you. However, try this" and gives him one tablet of Viagra.

      So the man says, "but I've got acute sunburn what's a Viagra tablet going to do?"

      The doctor says, "Basically, nothing at all but it will help keep the sheets off your legs tonight."

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