I have a scheme of renting Kort Knox as a skating rink. The gold left many years ago and the fort is now empty. 60,000 soldiers with nothing to do and nowhere to go - great captive market - perhpas I can get a liquor license. I think you have to apply to ACORN for that one. Join me, as you will then have at least one profitable business. Watch for the next step as they have refused audits since for ever (no that KPMG audit was a sham). Al Q (of course I really mean the govt) will explode a Iodine131 bomb in the Fort. Now of course the gold is there but we can't let you in to see it for thousands of years as that would not be safe. We will now be leasing it but trust me it's all there. Trusting idiots like u will believe it too.
Remember, you're not paranoid if you can prove that the whole world is out to get you.