"Keeping all this in mind, it nonetheless does begin to look as if Iraqis may in fact have started to recover command over their own destiny, and also as if America may have helped them to do so..."
"What worries me about the reaction of liberals and Democrats is not the skepticism, which is pardonable, but the dank and sinister impression they give that the worse the tidings, the better they would be pleased. The latter mentality isn't pardonable and ought not to be pardoned, either."
Something To Give Thanks For
Good news from Iraq.
By Christopher Hitchens
Posted Monday, Nov. 19, 2007, at 10:47 AM ET
Thank you so much. I have been worried sick about Mrs. Spanspur. Have you ever read any of the Nomad's posts.
He's capable of anything.
Was she clothed? Was she coherent?
Please call the local sheriff and have them hold her there
in Iowa until I can arrange to have her brought home. This
creature Nomad is wanted by numerous police agencies, domestic and international. There is a reward. Please cash in on this opportunity.
Thank you again for locating my lifes love. Spanspur
Baby, your parents stopped by today and I told them what is
going on. Your dad started to hyper ventilate, but by the time he hit the couch I had a paper bag readied and that seemed to calm him down. Your mom was equally agitated and said something about, "I hope this doesn't get back to the Republican women's club".
I shared with them all of it. The fact that you are cavorting with Peter Fonda, and that you have turned your
back on your corporate and familial responsibilities.
Where the hell are you now.........Florida?
Anyway, by the time they were ready to leave both of them were talking a court ordered intervention.
Coyote and Chetah are assholes and it looks like we are heading to court, while they spend your money.
Call me baby.........let me know you're OK.
Hello, Mrs. Spanspur. My name is Roderick McCloud and I am
representing your spouse Mr. Spanspur who has filed for divorce in the state of California on the grounds of irreconcilable differences. I am an attorney licensed in the State of California, and I am a principal in the firm of Fazzolli & McCloud which is representing Mr. Spanspur in
his request to pursue the dissolution of your marriage.
With that being said, is there any reason for the parties to believe that recconciliation is possible at this time....................................................................................................................................OK, great, let's get started.
Mr. Spanspur would like to make this activity as brief as
possible. As you know, Mr. Spanspur is a practical man and at this point feels compelled to act in a fair and equitable
way towards Mrs. Spanspur. Equitable in every sense of the word.............in a manner that will document the essence of the your past relationship. He has asked me to convey these requests to you, and he sincerely hopes the two of you
can work things out in an amicable manner.
In regard to the community property:
Mr. Spanspur Requests: The dog/Jasper, the 2008 F-150 Pickup, the art collection that Mr. Spanspur built during the marriage, the newly acquired ranch, and his fair share of all monies accumulated in co-mingled financial accounts. As you already know Mr. Spanspur will be keeping all of his own assets that were acquired prior to marriage.
Mrs. Spanspur Receives: The cats/Skipper, Chipper, and Mina. And all other property defined as community property.
The numerous bathrooms, closets, contents, etc.
These are the community property issues. And Mr. Spanspur wants you to have everything. As you already know your conduct in this matter is partly dictated by the elements described in the pre nuptuial agreement dated 1 June 1986. There is however the subject of alimony that will need to be paid to Mr. Spanspur. You Mrs. Spanspur have been open and notorious in your requests of Mr. Spanspur to be your "arm candy". Prior to the marriage Mr. Spanspur had promising careers as both a formula/Nascar race
car driver...........and also was selected as "Professional
Male Model Of The Year" in 1985. Your declarations that
"all he has to do is be there when I want him", and your insistence that he attend the So Cal Escort College For Men further document your requests that Mr. Spanspur was to be a full time, 24/7 companion. As you know, Mr. Spanspur has not held a job, been employed, or directly produced income from his own efforts since the marriage began. Therefore, Mr. Spanspur requests $12,500 per week so as to ease the strain during this difficult transition.
There is also the matter of Mr. Spanspur's passive position and holdings in your company Galmour Girl Cosmetics, Inc.
It was Mr. Spanspur who provided the initial $32,500 in start money for Galmour Girl in 1984. Today Mr. Spanspur's 30% amounts to just under $138,000,000. Mr. Spanspur has agreed to liquidate his holdings and discount the aforementioned amount 14% so long as Galmour Girl completes
the deal with cash and the company is willing to act in concert with off shore banking interests and regulations.
These things are never easy Mrs. Spanspur, and there are still many details to be worked out. Please feel free to have Coyote and Chetah, Esq. contact me anytime. I will convey today's communication to Mr. Spanspur. I believe he is at the track today.............he said something about,
"I bet on the right horse this time". Must be having a good day.
Baby, where are you picking up this street lingo. This is not you. Yes..........we have a prenup...........can I fax you a duly notarized, signed 14 days prior to marriage copy
to the nearest truck stop. It's over baby. I have rented a townhome in Prescott, Arizona and will be studying the local climate. It's over!
From now on you can contact me through my legal team: Fazzolli and McCloud. Have your people contact my people and let's rap this up.
Prenup?? I don't no nothin 'bout no stinkin prenup. How 'bout a postnup?? I made you into the Yahoo Board Hero dat u r...U owes me big time. We ar comin and i gots a witches brew dat da tree of uz iz gonna imbibe...Me & da Nomads man are doin the nasty in every rest stop.Castle better be clean .....
FOX called. They want us to do a mini-series !!!!
Appledumpling? You ever call me that again.......it's over.
As far as you and your Easy Rider boyfriend, please drink
your brew in another state..............know what I mean.
The last thing I need to do is spend the rest of my life in prison for 86'ing the two of you.
It's over kid. Remember the preneup? If you're nice I'll
let you keep your castle. Hopefully we can rap things up in a hurry. I don't really want anything except my cut of the action and everything that was mine before we hooked up. Best of luck to you and Peter Fonda.
Appledumpling, it's the circle of life. I'm on the back of his Hog ( actually a 20 year old Honda--sounds like a lawn mower)on our way to you. I finally know the answer to "if you have to ask--you just don't know." Thought we could do the commune thing all over. NOMAD wants to be some guy named "Charlie" and he hums "helter-skelter" ALL day. Anyway, make sure you have Schmidt's beer in the fridge and we will be there soon. XOXOXO da "MRS."
Baby, should you need to come back I will be there.
I remember as kids Nomad and I would run the streets of the Queens togeather. They were fun days.........days that are
filled with innocence, lack of fear, and the days when a boy becomes a man. The hot humid summers of NYC served us well........staying out late, eating pizza, and drinking beer. The street life. I was usually around the corner at the local park playing basketall against some of the better talent in the city......and even though I was always a step
slower with a righteous case of white man's diease, I earned
respect in a lot of the court yards where street ball was
being played. Nomad.......he was always striving for the buck..........playing with his chopper.........riding around
town like he was some sort of land shark. Baby, you know the biker types.......never say anything about their mothers
and usually they are smaller than anatomical norms. Nomad
was proned to violence back in those days, and he developed
quite a reputation as a lose cannon. Nonetheless, Nomad
and I would take it all in. I must admit there were many
good times...........and great memories.
So one day the Nomad comes to me............he is 20 at the
time. Unbeknowst to me he had not yet enjoyed the pleasure
of a woman. So he comes to me and explains that Angie Fortunado has been giving him all the "buy signs". You know
when you are a Male of the species and you are 20 and you
are still a virgin.........not only are your parents concerned but the self doubt begins to grow. When, if ever,
is it going to happen? So he comes to Spanspur for two reasons 1) He wanted to use my Volkswagen Van 2) He needed guidance and general advice on how to get it done.
Well, Angie was a nice girl with a beautiful smile. She was
somewhat larger than Nomad, 5 years older, you know.....one
of those hippie chicks during the era of free love. Not exactly a looker.............but truly a compassionate person on a mission of mercy. So I told Nomad he could use the van. And then I provided the advice that Nomad later told me "worked like a charm".............it's simple bro,
once you're in back engage in casual conversation and at the right time tell her she has a beautiful smile.
Well.................he was excited and so grateful he bought the beer and pizza that night.
And now..........he pays me back by stealing my woman.