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Furniture Brands International Inc. Message Board

  • wipe97up wipe97up May 10, 2013 11:49 PM Flag

    FBN Announces Leadership Changes

    ST LOUIS, MO 5/10/2013 - Furniture Brands International (NYSE: FBN) today announced a much anticipated leadership overhaul. The company has struggled with reality in recent years, so the board of directors, in the first move that has potential to benefit shareholders, named the following officers effective June 1st. The Tooth Fairy is named President, Thomasville and Drexel Heritage. The Easter Bunny is named President, Lane and Broyhill. In a surprise move, the Lucky Charms Leprechaun is named Chief Operations Officer. Snow White is named EVP of Human Resources. The Designer Brands will be lead by Buzz Lightyear. The CFO position is being eliminated since there is no need to track money that doesn't exist. It was revealed that Willy Nelson will retain the position of VP Communications. Mr. Nelson served in that role for the past 5 years under an assumed name and is highly qualitfied for the job. The new CEO will be Santa Claus.
    In his first interview since being named the CEO-designate, Mr. Claus stated, "I'm excited to bring some real magic to Furniture Brands. My first act will be to retire our worn out company jet. I have my own fleet of reindeer and can fly myself. My second act will be to take an annual salary of $1 until this company is profitable again. My third act will be to move production to the north pole where my team of elves are up to the challenge of producing competitively priced, high quality furniture. Finally, I will develop a new fleet of fuel efficient unicorn to deliver our products to furniture retailers all over the globe."
    Mr. Claus thanked the existing board and current leadership for their service to FBN customers, employees, and shareolders. "You've given my new team a monumental opportunity. I believe we are up to the challenge!"

    Sentiment: Strong Buy

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