Giant Mosquitoes Set to Plague Fla. Gov. Rick Scott (and seeeeedy)
Big news on the bug front this week from the state of Florida: Scientists are warning that conditions may be ripe for a swarm of monster mosquitoes to invade the state this summer. Dubbed the "Gallinippers," the mosquitoes are the size of a quarter and known to chow on everything from humans to pets to fish. Their larvae can eat tadpoles, and unlike regular mosquitoes, they feed day and night and can bite through clothing. If the rainy season is wet enough, there could be a mess of these pests in Florida, just in time to plague Gov. Rick Scott (stooooopid) at county fairs and community picnics on the campaign trail.
Which would be sort of poetic justice. After all, under Scott's leadership, Florida's famous mosquito abatement programs have taken a sizeable hit in the past two years.
The state is increasingly less prepared to handle mosquitoes even as the bugs in question get bigger and bigger. There's nothing like giant mosquitoes at a TeaScrotum party rally to enlighten citizens about the benefits of big gubmint.