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ConAgra Foods, Inc. Message Board

  • gbailey4u gbailey4u Mar 4, 2014 8:09 PM Flag

    ConAgra...America's Most Progressive Food Company....

    ...announced today that it has recently identified certain trends in public attitudes and as the most forward thinking food company, it has decided as follows:

    1) Whale Oil will no longer be used for factory lighting; ;
    2) Plants running on water power will institute a recycling program which
    the Board will review in 10 years;
    3) Products containing salt will be provided with shells so as
    to reduce salt content on the product label;
    4) Chef Boy-ar-Dee and Marie Calendar are to be married spawning new
    products for CAG;
    5) Slim Jim and PF Chang will be married penetrating new markets for CAG;
    6) All CAG products will contain informational flyers, exposing the myths of
    of natural and organic foods, highlighting the heath
    benefits of chemicals and processing;
    7) CAG has decided that the only way to improve the performance
    of its private label business is to invite shareholders to order salad
    dressings, marinades, salsa, and the like directly from the factory.
    The Board in Omaha suggests you distribute them as holiday gifts,
    party favors, house warmings, & at net working luncheons. Please
    contact Syd.

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