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  • hmmm26 hmmm26 Sep 17, 2012 5:15 PM Flag

    My Wife, Vegas's Nightmare

    I'm part of a pretty hardcore group of folks who play a weekly NFL pool. There's a dozen or so "regulars" who play every week, but anybody who wants to can play any week they're interested. Since we pick all our games against the spreads, anybody can win (and it's worth winning, there's a guaranteed $1000 minimum to each week's winner).

    My wife knows nothing about football. But on weekends when we're going to be watching the games together, I like to buy her a spot in the pool. I love the way she picks teams.

    Previous favorites of mine include the "cities she'd rather have me take her to on vacation" system, the "I'll take all the team names that are also animals" system, the "cities further south" system and the unforgettable "prettiest uniforms" system. One system I loved less was the "hottest quarterbacks" system, one she's kindly not repeated.

    As you can imagine, on weekends she beats me, I'm subjected to endless teasing.

    Anyway, I just got an email from the guy who runs the pool that this weekend, my wife's picks were an inconceivable 13-2 against the spread (with Atlanta - 3 over Denver tonight), a mark that's already shattered the pool's previous record for best picks over the entire 10 years he's run the thing. He estimates that constitutes between 2000 and 2500 total entries, mostly by guys who take their NFL pretty darn seriously.

    In the email he asks me "I know she doesn't follow football, so how'd she do it?" Are you ready to learn the can't-miss system my wife used this weekend to savage Vegas, set the record for a 10 year old pool and go 13-2?

    Drum roll please...........

    She took all the teams whose third letter in their city name came earlier in the alphabet. So the reason she has Atlanta - 3 over Denver tonight is because "L" comes before "N". Right, why didn't I think of that?

    Well, at least it wasn't the Prettiest Uniforms one.

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