"AGNC could take a huge amount of wind out of everybody's sails and steam out from between the ears simply by moving the announced ex dates to after option expiry for every single quarter. just eliminate the calendar #$%$ entirely."
They could but I think they want you to buy the stock, not the options. They also want you to hold it not trade it.
i hate to break this to you, but the only time they really care about anybody buying or holding the stock is when an offering is going on. they price those to make them irresistable. after that, a share is a share, no matter who holds it.