No offense intended - don't want to step on creative minds here - but don't you think you're being a little hard on the little guy?
OK, so Burpie's a misanthrope. That's not a sin, it's a disorder, most likely brought about by his early experiences on 300 baud bulletin boards....
M R BP.
M R 0! (naught- zero)
M R 2! C D E D B D P P?
L I B, M R BP!!