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Corrections Corporation of America Message Board

  • winwithceltics winwithceltics Jul 25, 2004 4:42 PM Flag

    A new kind of prison

    Greetings from Boston, formerly known as the Cradle of Liberty! Starting today, and continuing until Friday, it is, in fact, a new kind of prison. Thought you might be intrigued.

    This prison boasts a central area which is quite nice, but to which the prisoners are denied permission to enter (unless they are willing to subject themselves to a great deal of harassment, inconvenience, and possibly worse. However, there is a group of beautiful, if mis-guided, illiterates which is invited in all the time so that they may receive gifts at the expense of the inmates and attend one party after another while instructing the prisoners how they should live their lives.

    The prisoners are being practically forced to remain in a slightly less "secure" area between the central core and Route 128. They can't go anywhere in their cars because all the roads are closed (except when said roads are used to serve the beautiful people). It is almost impossible to move around on public transit as well since all the people who can't use cars are on it ... and much of public transit is also closed down or replaced with busses (same thing as closed).

    The lucky inmates are all being "protected", however, by thousands of Gestapo talking to each other and carrying machine guns (at a cost on only $1,000,000 per HOUR.) Personally, I think it would be a much better use of Gestapo time to chase down, arrest and deport the 11,000,000 ILLEGAL Aliens rather than harass the law abiding citizens of Boston. The Gestapo also are kind enough to board all the trains the inmates ride and inspect everyone and everything.

    There is also a big moat around the prison between Route 128 and Route 495 for less risky prisoners. These prisoners have considerably more freedom, some of the time.

    When all is said and done, the winner in all of this will NOT be Kerry, and it will NOT be Bush. It is and will be: Osama Bin Laden, who realizes he can only beat us by destroying our economy.

    Of course, by sending the 4,350 beautiful people over to our new multi-zillion CONVENTION center, all of this could have been avoided and 3,000,000 prisoners would be happy.

    Any chance CXW would rent me one of their rooms for a week?

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    • 1) As I have grown more 'chronologically challenged', I find that the SECOND THING that goes is my memory

      2) After mumbling under and over my breath, cussing creatively, and turning my maison topsy-turvy, found my spectacles right where I left them....on top of my (balding and increasingly insensate) head.
      My keys were, of course. also exactly where I plopped them...on the floor directly below the peg of the key rack where I missed hanging them by about 1/4 inch, because I couldn't focus with my glasses out of optimal optical range.

      3) Attila's mom caught him out riding his pony one day after school, when he was supposed to be grounded, and confined to the yurt. Grabbing him by his scrawny little mongolian neck, she shook him vigorously, yelling at the top of her considerable voice:
      "How many times do I have to tell you? You can Hun, but you can't ride!!!"

      sbd

      (t)rying
      (m)anfully to
      (a)ccess
      (c)ar
      (k)eys:
      (e)ventually
      (r)emembering

    • Mayor Curley would have known how to make money from this convention. Knew a lot about prisons too.

      • 1 Reply to slowdensenior
      • It is not only all the governments which are losing money. Practically every business in Boston is squeeling like a stuck pig.

        Mumbles Menino had promised that said convention would bring an avalanche of dollars into the city. It has actually been so bad that, in response to furious businessmen, he put a full page ad (NOT cheap)in the papers today offering everything but the kitchen sink on Fri, Sat, Sun to persuade people to come into Boston.

        Of course, that involved forcing said furious businessmen to offer big discounts as well, which is not going to make them much happier.

        He is offering free parking on all streets, discounted parking in many garages, free plays on the Common, discounted Duck and Trolley tours, half price theatre tickets (theatres got killed this week), discounted meals, and more!

        All this in a city which is usually teeming with tourists and Bostonians alike this time of year. We'll see what happens.

    • tt99, if the General's << recall is amazing!, >> why is it that he can't remember where he's left his car keys or his glasses?

    • General - your recall is amazing!
      I always enjoy your vignettes.

    • A good bit of satire. First there was reform, then rehabilitation, then reintegration. Now the Boston prison will implement reinvention (of Kerry)!!!!

      • 2 Replies to Go2Glenn
      • Go2Glenn,

        You are right! We did see another re-invention of Kerry last night. I think he has been re-invented, this time, as a hen-pecked husband.

        The Japanese word for that (I kid you not)is
        Kuka-Denka)

      • Strange things are happening!. Although the super-intelectuals who lead the beautiful people have indicated for months that they want the inmates to suffer the harrasment and venture into the central area (only when wanted) so that they can mix in with the beautiful people and enjoy all of the very expensive attractions for which the inmates are paying, it is simply NOT happening.

        In fact, absent 4,356 delegates, 15,000 media, MBTA advisors, and God knows how many Gestapo, machine guns and police dogs, the central part of the prison is an absolute ghost town.

        There are simply NO Bostonians in Boston...NONE, nada, zilch, zippo!

        Similar conditions, but not quite as bad, would describe the entire area within Route 128.

        Maybe this new kind of prison will not work since all of the prisoners seem to have found an escape route. The cost of this to the inmates is enormous.

 
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