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  • newMK newMK Jan 6, 1999 9:34 PM Flag

    Big dividends

    The sociology of criminal behavior was discussed as well as anywhere in the song "Officer Krupke" in West Side Story. One lyric stands out in my memory: "We're depraved on account o' we're deprived".

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    • The net is incredible - here's the lyrics (hope
      this comes out intact):

      TIGER, IMITATING
      KRUPKE
      Hey you!

      RIFF
      Who me, Officer
      Krupke?

      TIGER, IMITATING KRUPKE
      Yeah you, gimme one good
      reason for not draggin' ya down the station house, ya
      punk!

      RIFF
      Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke
      You gotta
      understand
      It's just our bringin' upke
      That gets us out of
      hand
      Our mothers all are junkies
      Our fathers all are
      drunks
      Golly Moses, natcherly we're punks

      JETS
      Gee,
      Officer Krupke
      We're very upset
      We never had the
      love
      That every child oughta get
      We ain't no
      deliquents
      We're misunderstood
      Deep down inside us there is
      good

      RIFF
      There is good!

      JETS
      There is good, there is
      good
      There is untapped good
      Like inside, the worst of us
      is good

      TIGER, IMITATING KRUPKE
      That's a
      touching good story

      RIFF
      Lemme tell it to the
      world!

      TIGER, IMITATING KRUPKE
      Just tell it to the
      judge

      RIFF
      Dear kindly Judge, your Honour
      My parents treat me
      rough
      With all their marijuana
      They won't give me a
      puff
      They didn't wanna have me
      But somehow I was
      had
      Leapin' lizards, that's why I'm so bad

      SNOWBOY
      IMITATING JUDGE
      Right! Officer Krupke
      You're really a
      square
      This boy don't need a judge
      He needs an analyst's
      care
      It's just his neurosis
      That oughta be
      curbed
      He's psychologically disturbed

      RIFF
      I'm
      disturbed

      JETS
      We're disturbed, we're disturbed
      We're the most
      disturbed
      Like we're psychologically disturbed

      SNOWBOY
      IMITATING JUDGE
      Hear ye, hear ye. In the opinion of this
      court, this child is depraved on account he ain't had a
      normal home.

      RIFF
      Hey, I'm depraved on account
      I'm deprived!

      SNOWBOY IMITATING JUDGE
      So
      take him to a headshrinker. You!

      ACTION
      Who
      me?

      RIFF
      My daddy beats my mommy
      My mommy clubbers
      me
      My grand'pa is a commie
      My grand'ma pushes
      tea
      My sisters wears a moustache
      My brother wears a
      dress
      Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess

      ACTION
      IMITATING HEADSHRINKER
      Yes, Officer Krupke
      He
      shouldn't be here
      This boy don't need a couch
      He
      needs a usefully career
      Society's played him a
      terrible trick
      And sociologically he's
      sick

      RIFF
      I am sick!

      JETS
      We are sick, we are
      sick
      We are sick sick sick
      Like we're sociologically
      sick

      ACTION IMITATING HEADSHRINKER
      In my opinion, this
      child does not need to have his head shrunk at all.
      Juvenile delinquency is purely a social
      disease.

      RIFF
      Hey, I got a social disease!

      ACTION IMITATING
      HEADSHRINKER
      So take him to a social worker

      RIFF
      Dear
      kindly social worker
      They tell me get a job
      Like
      be a soda jerker
      Which means I'd be a
      slob
      It's not I'm antisocial
      I'm only anti-work
      Glory
      Osky, that's why I'm a jerk

      A-RAB
      Eek,
      Officer Krupke
      You've done it again
      This boy don't
      need a job
      He needs a year in the pen
      It ain't
      just a question of misunderstood
      Deep down inside
      he's no good

      RIFF
      I'm no
      good

      JETS
      We're no good, we're no good
      We're no earthly
      good
      Like the best of us is no damn good

      The trouble
      is he's lazy
      The trouble is he drinks
      The
      trouble is he's crazy
      The trouble is he stinks
      The
      trouble is he's growing
      The trouble is he's
      grown
      Krupke, we've got troubles of our own

      Officer
      Krupke
      We're down on our knees

      RIFF
      'Cause no one
      wants a fella
      With a social
      disease

      JETS
      Dear Officer Krupke
      What are we to do?
      Gee,
      Officer Krupke
      Krup you!

 
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