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  • newMK newMK Jan 6, 1999 9:45 PM Flag

    Big dividends

    The net is incredible - here's the lyrics (hope
    this comes out intact):

    TIGER, IMITATING
    KRUPKE
    Hey you!

    RIFF
    Who me, Officer
    Krupke?

    TIGER, IMITATING KRUPKE
    Yeah you, gimme one good
    reason for not draggin' ya down the station house, ya
    punk!

    RIFF
    Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke
    You gotta
    understand
    It's just our bringin' upke
    That gets us out of
    hand
    Our mothers all are junkies
    Our fathers all are
    drunks
    Golly Moses, natcherly we're punks

    JETS
    Gee,
    Officer Krupke
    We're very upset
    We never had the
    love
    That every child oughta get
    We ain't no
    deliquents
    We're misunderstood
    Deep down inside us there is
    good

    RIFF
    There is good!

    JETS
    There is good, there is
    good
    There is untapped good
    Like inside, the worst of us
    is good

    TIGER, IMITATING KRUPKE
    That's a
    touching good story

    RIFF
    Lemme tell it to the
    world!

    TIGER, IMITATING KRUPKE
    Just tell it to the
    judge

    RIFF
    Dear kindly Judge, your Honour
    My parents treat me
    rough
    With all their marijuana
    They won't give me a
    puff
    They didn't wanna have me
    But somehow I was
    had
    Leapin' lizards, that's why I'm so bad

    SNOWBOY
    IMITATING JUDGE
    Right! Officer Krupke
    You're really a
    square
    This boy don't need a judge
    He needs an analyst's
    care
    It's just his neurosis
    That oughta be
    curbed
    He's psychologically disturbed

    RIFF
    I'm
    disturbed

    JETS
    We're disturbed, we're disturbed
    We're the most
    disturbed
    Like we're psychologically disturbed

    SNOWBOY
    IMITATING JUDGE
    Hear ye, hear ye. In the opinion of this
    court, this child is depraved on account he ain't had a
    normal home.

    RIFF
    Hey, I'm depraved on account
    I'm deprived!

    SNOWBOY IMITATING JUDGE
    So
    take him to a headshrinker. You!

    ACTION
    Who
    me?

    RIFF
    My daddy beats my mommy
    My mommy clubbers
    me
    My grand'pa is a commie
    My grand'ma pushes
    tea
    My sisters wears a moustache
    My brother wears a
    dress
    Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess

    ACTION
    IMITATING HEADSHRINKER
    Yes, Officer Krupke
    He
    shouldn't be here
    This boy don't need a couch
    He
    needs a usefully career
    Society's played him a
    terrible trick
    And sociologically he's
    sick

    RIFF
    I am sick!

    JETS
    We are sick, we are
    sick
    We are sick sick sick
    Like we're sociologically
    sick

    ACTION IMITATING HEADSHRINKER
    In my opinion, this
    child does not need to have his head shrunk at all.
    Juvenile delinquency is purely a social
    disease.

    RIFF
    Hey, I got a social disease!

    ACTION IMITATING
    HEADSHRINKER
    So take him to a social worker

    RIFF
    Dear
    kindly social worker
    They tell me get a job
    Like
    be a soda jerker
    Which means I'd be a
    slob
    It's not I'm antisocial
    I'm only anti-work
    Glory
    Osky, that's why I'm a jerk

    A-RAB
    Eek,
    Officer Krupke
    You've done it again
    This boy don't
    need a job
    He needs a year in the pen
    It ain't
    just a question of misunderstood
    Deep down inside
    he's no good

    RIFF
    I'm no
    good

    JETS
    We're no good, we're no good
    We're no earthly
    good
    Like the best of us is no damn good

    The trouble
    is he's lazy
    The trouble is he drinks
    The
    trouble is he's crazy
    The trouble is he stinks
    The
    trouble is he's growing
    The trouble is he's
    grown
    Krupke, we've got troubles of our own

    Officer
    Krupke
    We're down on our knees

    RIFF
    'Cause no one
    wants a fella
    With a social
    disease

    JETS
    Dear Officer Krupke
    What are we to do?
    Gee,
    Officer Krupke
    Krup you!

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