Typical of today's ebbs and flows, nic had a wonderful, witty, grammatical, and succinct response, General.....but hit the wrong button...and it was lost forever. Whatta day!!
And no, the nicster is NOT going swimming in the ocean.....he may not even venture into the bathtub for a day or two, and he almost fears mixing even branch water with his Baker's...those freakin' sharks are everywhere...
Nic's lyrics for a country song came back with a "rejected" stamp in today's mail....and he thought they were just wonderful...the wife quit dating the milkman, the dog was missed by the train, and the pickup truck didn't hit his mother while she was holding the baby...and the publishers said Nic's lyrics were not of country quality...
The NAZ was up, the Dow was up, and Nic's meager holdings were awash in red today....
(but at least cxw was up a dime or so)...
a buck-fifty and growing....way nic figures it, about the year 2013 we might get even, if current growth continues.....Nic will be SO old....
In any event, here's some "Lil Abner" trivia...
the play ran for 693 performances on Broadway, and the movie was released in 1959....why did
Nic emulate the General, you might ask, in doing his research????? Well, that dammed "Jubilation TTTTT Cornpone" song has done one of those "embedded" things in Nic's faulty memory.....and has prompted his tedious search of the Al Capp site, where he found out waaaaaay more than he ever cared to know about the comic strip and its many characters....
Al Capp was a horny old toad, if you get right down to it.....Nic likes that about him....
Here's hoping for another dime today....
The General understood your "poetic" license and did not intend to revoke it by his 'correcting' you. But it's a risk you assume when you ask a direct question of someone who calc's things to 9 decimal places.
As you possibly may remember (before all those "zappings"), the General once told you on this mb that he was on the stand being cross-examined by the spouse of someone who you probably knew back in your halcyon days in D.C. In fact, the General wouldn't doubt but that you might've even met 'the spouse'.
Asking the General the 'wrong' question wound up costing 'the spouse' and the spouse's client a LOT more than just a poetic license.
Remember Mayor Shin's line in Meredith Willson's "The Music Man"? It's all about the 'phraseology', nic.
It's all about the 'phraseology'.
I guess I've lost my poetic license. Damm!!!
First it's my driver's license after forgetting how many Baker's I'd consumed within an hour and venturing out on my 10-speed.......then it was my hunting license, after getting caught on the stump with both my guns loaded.....then the fishing license, because you aren't supposed to hunt with dynamite in the boat (I was on my way to deal with some ground squirrels, honest!!)....and now alas, my poetic license is in jeopardy, as well......"Jubliation TTTTTT Cornpone" it is, of course....but crepes are still nothing more than thin egg pancakes....and the nicster's still having a hard time getting used to these gender-bender 180s......but RAUGER can write as much as he pleases......if old cxw can rise to $2.50, or even $4.00 (let's keep it in perspective, after all) nic will be able to buy everybody a soda pop at the Lee County Correctional Institute....and maybe a new dress for Cleo/Cleotis...
1975-'76 Cincinnati Reds' mantra was "root the reds home." then the bumper stickers started that read "darn tootin', we're rootin'."
somehow, mrputin/pootin reminded the old nicster of that time long ago when he was young, tender, and virginal.....and hadn't a whit of experience with transsexual behaviors, either in flagrante delicto or by innuendo...
problem is, dear cleo/mr.crepe/(the nic personally likes "cleotis" a lot for your male nom de plume, btw) that you did the female thing SOOOOOOOOO very, very well.....and the nic just adores strong women (strong always, yet submissive when the occasionS call for it)
but he digresses...
nic did most certainly appreciate your post, and appreciated its delicious satire...nic does love satire so much....but dreams, like other sweet things, are so disappointing when they become dry....and giving up the kind of dreams to which nic feeely confesses when he ruminating about the female side of mrputin's gender confusion is very difficult, indeed.
as to the emasculation attempted by the docsters upon members of the Happy Brigade, you'll be delighted to know that we "hang-downs" can function incredibly well with the one each they left us, and the intervention of "vitamin v," along with the salutary effects of certain tree barks, have all-but obviated the effects of machetes Crants....but again, thanks for your concern about our welfare.
there is, however, one almost-disturbing near-truth about becoming more senior chronologically in your last missive (because it hits so close to home, perhaps).....and all nic will do in this venue is refer your male side to the Randy Newman song "Bad Love." (on the CD of the same name)....and you may examine the lyrics thereof on your own....(nic is trying SOOOOOOOO hard to adhere to the General's most appropriate admonishment about not becoming potty-mouthed....but Lord, it's so hard to be good)
in any event, your last had the nicster literally ROTFL.....but alas, his Pulitzer may never be the same....and he will take your request regarding the name of his creperie under advisement....how 'bout "Cleotis' Thin Egg Pancake" Restaurant ????....or perhaps
"Jubilation de Cerise?" (Lil Abner: "Jubilation de Cornpone.".....remember that one, General???)
in any case, a boring saturday early evening, after nic's once-beloved Wildcats got their living cojones beaten off by the U of Louisville.....and the season is now worthless, no matter what happens....and your humor did brighten an otherwise miserable afternoon.
if your Moma does not recognize you!!
Now we know, it isn't the Stock Market, the Global Warming, or even W saying about Mr. Putin (the other one), I can do business with this guy.
What's got Nic's and General's literary juices flowing is a little Gender Change. Now, to be truthful, it's a loss of a DREAM, rather than the actual fact, that upsetted them the most. A dream of a beautiful wonder, seductive and feminine creature, someone they could look up to in a moment or two of desperation (actually, more like 3 years), to provide solace, comfort and prudent advice. So, "Mr." handle was more than they could handle! That "cowardly" act took away the last joy in life. And, like any God's creature, deprived and cornered, they had to attack.
But let's be composed and look the hard facts in the ass...er..eyes. For more than 2 years this particular duo and some of their cohorts had themselves undergone the same Gender Change and DOC did the operation ( it was the second time he actually justified the Great Expectations his family invested unto him; the first time was when he was signing that famous Purchase Agreement between CCA and PZN). On second thoughts, however, it might have been just a change in the sexual orientation; after all one could expect some commonality among the owners and the tennants of a prizon company. Or, well, who would want to bother with the minute details. Still the shock of that event was apparently so complete and everlasting, that the poor souls did not even notice the friendly hand and a change in the attitude of their old flame.
Now, granted, such miraculous transformation comes with no guarantee for the future success. But I would be remiss not to remind you, that since the last posting, the stock's moved in one and only direction, despite the shitty circumstances everywhere else. Just like it did 3 years ago. Got my drift??
So, cheer up Nick, you might still get your wish to open a CREPERIE and a crepe FLUMBE would do just fine (that is if OSHA would not mind you standing in the kitchen). Only promise me a favour. Instead of that generic name you fancy so much, call it "Cleopatra Palace". Then, one day, General would come in (no adjutants please, unless you are an EOE) and MK, Flip and others and we all would sit there and reminisce about how it was and how it could have been. Oh-Wey, what a CREEPY PICTURE!
nic has been watching Howard Stern too much while waiting for the nightly Ambien to kick in....it has definitely altered his vocabulary...but the "fartman" character was hilarious. reluctantly and sadly, nic feels he should re-orient his 11 pm viewing preferences toward the sturm and drung of the late news, so as to refresh his choice of nouns....
General, one of the few areas in which the nicster considers himself gifted (and you've been made privy to the one other that i can remember) is the art (and it is, indeed, an art) of making a crepe....and that is "making," not "taking," btw.....
matter of fact, nic at one time considered opening a "creperie,".....and (are you ready for this???)....yes indeedy, it woulda been named "Mr. Crepe."
the creperie idea fell somewhere between the 24-hour diner idea (woulda been called "Mom's") and the wine store, which woulda been called "The Wine Snob."
......guess you can see that had the nicster not lost his inheritance with the docsters, he would have likely found other ways even more exasperating than was the daily ritual of seeing how much he'd lost in cca/pzn.
a sidebar: do you remember the joke which caused Jack Parr to leave the late-night show?
alas, nic has undergone "postus interruptus,"
and will save his mindless wanderings about wallets and circular impressions for another time....(ah, those were the days, my friend)
have a great holiday !!
nic, the General wants to express his appreciation to you, once again, for posting #18482. As usual, it was most enlightening and edifying in regards to mrputa (need the General remind you that, in high school, he took 4 years of Spanish 1?).
It was most appreciated, however, due to the fact that its content managed to trigger the firing of one of the General's synapse (which is likely on its last gasp) and that 'activity' reminded the General to go check the condition of his elastic "rib cage" strapping bandages.
With your previous extended absence from this thread and its attendant consequence of the General not having to bind his chest in preparation for reading your (allegedly) 'dissembled or unclear musings', environmental pollutants, over time, had apparently taken their toll on the strapping's elasticity and the protective worthiness of its safeguard.
But thanks to message #18482, the General has made several notes for himself as a reminder to stop by a medical supply store the next time the General's adjutants allow him to venture out of his command post. The General wouldn't want to be caught "unprepared" when reading this thread (like some high school senior in the wee hours of Prom night, who realizes he's forgotten to put something in his wallet and it ain't the cash).
If the General may be so bold as to offer some constructive criticism, nic, referring to mrputa alternatively as, << mrfart >>, kinda lowers the level of the discourse here and it isn't up to the standard that mrputa has come to expect of the Brigaders.
The General wanted to suggest that, in lieu of mrfart, perhaps you could substitute mrcrepitation. Admittedly, mrfart is funnier, but mrcrepitation not only sounds "high-class", it almost sounds complimentary (and honestly. nic, isn't it a more apt characterization of mrputa's musings?).
The problem with 'crepitation' is that it's too long a word, so maybe you could shorten it to, say, "mrcrep." If you really wanted to "class-up" this mb, you could even go to a mrcr�pe.
But please note the proper spelling, nic. The General did NOT say, "mrcrap" or "mrcreep", it's c-r-�-p-e.
these transgender IDs are hard to get used to, Flip....besides which, it's just no fun stirring up shTT about what is essentially a $1.40 POS stock. Hell, the old nicster has way more fun with the pennystock characters who are gonna get rich buying a million shares of some scam that may go from 4 cents to 6.
But bitter is definitely bitter, whether it's embodied in a hemale or a shemale. Nic did see some attempt at levity and comraderie in the fart's last missive, however...both of which are SO very hard to affect if one is not naturally inclined toward those traits.
Nic does take some umbrage at the notion put forth by mrfart that he somehow dissembles or is otherwise handicapped in the clarity of his musings....he then looks at the Pulitzer sitting on top of his CRT and smiles. Nic knows no pain from these tiny slings and arrows...
As to the collective acumen of the Happy Brigade in portfolio assimilation, alas the Dosters got us all....and to MK, Nic would only offer a slight twist on the W. C. Fields observation: "Everybody's gotta believe in something, and Nic believes we should all have another Baker's."
And now we must put away our white suits and two-toned shoes this weekend, and begin the hunkering process toward another winter of socks and dark threads.....boring....but have a good holiday and hope that more folk could have a one-day holiday instead of a permanent one, and that socks bring better business with them.