Well you are not the only person who can be indecisive and furtive.
I can exhibit those characteristics myself. For example, I may or may not be typing on this computer keyboard this very instant. Also, I may or may not be breathing on a normal basis. I may or may not wish I was as manly as Michael Jackson.
I am beginning to think that you don't exist. I also think you might be the alter ego of astral. Then, again, I might be dreaming all of this. Who knows whether I even exist? I think I am having a relapse of my college philosophy class. If you will excuse me, I think I will go lie down and take a nap.
You are free to do as you will. Each and every one of your multiple personalities.