You may as well know the truth. It has been almost seventeen months since I sold my house (it was free and clear of debt) and I am getting tired of these big rent payments. Can you believe that they have the nerve to demand a payment each and every month. Anyway, I am considering a scheme that should put an end to rent payments for at least 15 to 20 years. It will require me to go over to the DARK SIDE. I need to commit some kind of felony that will put me in the big house with Andy Fastow and Bernie Ebbers. I am hoping that either Ken Lay or Jeff Skilling is convicted in order that we have four for bridge games. I think the table chatter would be excellent. Imagine the stories those guys could tell.
Anyway, I need to come up with some kind of crime that will get me the time I want. I sincerely do not want to go to Camp Fed for six months like Martha Stewart. I don't think I could incur the kind of penalty I want just by incessantly bashing stocks. If that was possible, you would already be doing time.
Can you think of a good grift for me? I will await your reply.