You have to stand up to read the WSJ so that you won't lie on the floor and use it as a blanket, or, worse, steal both it and used gum to make a large blanket for use back home under the bridge (in case you have no ITIC long position with whose stock certificates and stolen, used gum you can fashion an ITIC certificate blanket). If you drop my name to the librarian, expect a fire drill to be called within a minute. Once outside, you will be unceremoniously separated from the unhomeless patrons and denied re-entry. (The "fire drill" is just a trick to get my bridge-mates and me outside the library before we can steal too many newspapers and pieces of used gum.) To sum it up, using my name there will get you all the respect that I deserve and get--not much.
Any time you're at the W. Sahara Library, you're missing out on the authentically upscale crowd at the downtown library, where, just as you guessed, we do our investing. We don't own homes since we get far better returns on our investments. Summerlin is full of phonies who should sell their fancy homes and do what we do to make some serious money.
You may as well know the truth. It has been almost seventeen months since I sold my house (it was free and clear of debt) and I am getting tired of these big rent payments. Can you believe that they have the nerve to demand a payment each and every month. Anyway, I am considering a scheme that should put an end to rent payments for at least 15 to 20 years. It will require me to go over to the DARK SIDE. I need to commit some kind of felony that will put me in the big house with Andy Fastow and Bernie Ebbers. I am hoping that either Ken Lay or Jeff Skilling is convicted in order that we have four for bridge games. I think the table chatter would be excellent. Imagine the stories those guys could tell.
Anyway, I need to come up with some kind of crime that will get me the time I want. I sincerely do not want to go to Camp Fed for six months like Martha Stewart. I don't think I could incur the kind of penalty I want just by incessantly bashing stocks. If that was possible, you would already be doing time.
Can you think of a good grift for me? I will await your reply.
pmlljl, you don't understand our lifestyle here. We don't day trade at home. We invest, and it's done at the library, where we also collect the gum from the tables' undersides to form our ITIC share certificate blankets. Maybe I should use some of the gum to glue my IRA statements to the underside of the ceiling so that they don't run away. The gum is sticky enough that even traffic vibration from above probably wouldn't shake them off.
Does your stereo have its own power, or do you, too, have to tap into a line somewhere?
I do a lot of hiking on the bike trails and horse trails in Orange County and it is my opinion that all the good bridges are already taken. I have been looking for one with a good view of the Pacific Ocean and good resonance but I have been unsuccessful.
I am miffed at the down town library. When I went there as a visitor from out of state and wanted to read the Wall Street Journal they made me read it standing up at the counter. I was not allowed to take it to a table. They did not treat me very graciously. I imagine that you as a townie are treated with much more respect as you deserve.
Maybe when I come to Vegas again I can come downtown to the vagrants branch of the library and be treated better by giving your name as a reference.
Oh yes, when I was downtown they had a fire drill and drove us out into the sun in the middle of a nice warm July day.