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Investors Title Co. Message Board

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  • pjv2xyw9dww4b5 pjv2xyw9dww4b5 Jul 1, 2007 1:44 PM Flag

    ITIC +46.9% In Three Years

    pmlljl, you don't send a check. You drop one-hundred-dollar bills from the side of the elevated freeway (95) just above the park on the NW corner of 4th and Stewart. You do it from the passenger window while driving east. Agents below will arise from various depths of slumber to count carefully your deposit before forwarding it to Tsar. Be sure to shout your name from the window as you drop the money so that the proper account can be credited.

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    • pj:

      You didn't specify a city but I expect you mean Las Vegas, Nevada based on my limited knowledge of the interstate number and street names that you mentioned. In addition, you didn't mention the number of Benjamin's that are required. I am not surprised that you didn't mention a maximum, but I would have expected at least a minimum. Finally, I can't physically be driving the car and throwing the $100s from the passenger seat. Do you suggest that I find a homeless person to help me in this task? If so, should I have him/her drive or throw the Bennies? Life is just so complicated.

      I am awaiting your advice in this urgent matter. I know the tsar is waiting for my payment and your remittal so that he can make the downpayment on his new Cessna personal jet.

      • 2 Replies to pmlljl
      • pmlljl:

        Yes, it's Las Vegas, NV.

        For safety, I recommend that you use a helicopter. Push the hundred-dollar bills out over the park. Be sure to write "To: Tsar; From: pmlljl" on each bill so that your deposit will be credited properly. Be sure to have sufficient altitude when you begin pushing the bills out, as you will have shut down the engine for a few moments to prevent the rotor from blowing the money around too much on its way down.

      • "personal jet"

        I'm glad you mentioned that. In order to offer the ultimate in service to our valued stakeholders, every elite TsarPicks' Trader Man uses the best (or at least the costliest) available transportation technology at all times -- whether he needs to go anywhere or not!

        Similarly, our simple policy of "no withdrawals -- ever!" not only streamlines back-office operations, but guarantees our klients the highest possible level of financial protection (consistent with our business model*).


        *Business model consists of scooping up trash bags full of your banknotes with fishing nets, stuffing them into the back of the corporate El Camino, and driving to the nearest strip club to make "deposits." Past performance is no guarantee of future results. But it should give you a pretty good idea.

        Disclosure:
        (Er, this is parody)

    • "from various depths of slumber"

      oops

      maybe "from slumbers of varying depth" is better?

 
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