I want to subscribe to TsarPicks for infinity. I am willing to pay all my future premiums in cash in advance. I also agree to mandatory arbitration if I lose all my money. The Tsar is granted the right to name the arbitrator and any terms necessary to settle any arbitration. Where do I send my check?
pmlljl, you don't send a check. You drop one-hundred-dollar bills from the side of the elevated freeway (95) just above the park on the NW corner of 4th and Stewart. You do it from the passenger window while driving east. Agents below will arise from various depths of slumber to count carefully your deposit before forwarding it to Tsar. Be sure to shout your name from the window as you drop the money so that the proper account can be credited.
I am thinking that I may need to get official approval of this plan. I don't want to cause a riot like they had at the Minxx gentlemen's club during the NBA All Star weekend. NFL player Pacman Jones got in trouble and somebody got shot when people started throwing handfuls of cash at the dancers.
Now I know that the people living under the bridges are more sophisticated and refined but I can't take a chance on going to jail. Therefore, I am postponing my cash drop until I can receive the approval that I need. Please inform the tsar with my regrets.
pmlljl, Your deposit would have been hand-delivered to Tsar by experts at train-hopping traveling in only the most secure boxcars; nevertheless, I understand your concern that we might cause a riot by dancing under your helicopter. Shall we look into long-range model rocket delivery methods?
1) Bring a bullhorn. 2) Shout your name down so that everyone will know not to open fire. 3) Announce that you are about to drop bales of cash worth one hundred thousand dollars each so that everyone will get out of the way.
I like the rocket idea but am not experienced in that area. I think I will try sending my payments by mental telepathy. I will try the new age concept of channeling the payments by energy waves directly to the tsar. I am sure he will let me know when he receives the dough.