APA announced they have contracted with Rosie O'Donnell to run a 12" pipeline to her huge butt to collect the extremely odorous and highly toxic methane. The Experts believe this could be a most hazardous venture but the massive potential rewards far out weigh the danger in handling the such a ferocious mixture. Rosie's output is legendary : Last year Rosie was upset and withdrew from a rug chewing contest but before she exited, she dropped her sweat pants ( size xxxxxxxl ), bent over to reveal her massive #$%$ and ripped a gargantuan ph-art while rotating 360 degrees. All person's senses within the blast zone were immediately over come by the incredibly horrifying stench, the thunderous cascading roar, and of course, the sickening sight of that colossus belching it's acrid excrement. The EPA has designated the area within a 27.2 mile radius uninhabitable for the next 250,000 years.
When asked why APA would assume the risk harvesting gas from such a dangerous source, the CEO said, " They want cheap gas...... let them wear cloths pins on their noses and earplugs in their ears and don't ever, and I mean ever, look into the eye of the storm.