Hey quickmoves -- you posted you were 1/2 short and 1/2 cash the morning of the market melt-up run. It must be you with the red arse. My capital acct feels fine right now.
I can understand that if you are short IBM in the last week you have a lot of nervous energy to burn off. But you do sound sappy -- you could have shell shock. I'd ask loved ones to check your current positions -- take my advice and get some advice.
Hangeth in there quickdive -- things will get better. God Bless