Master Chen has very good news to give to shareholers. Master Chen feels your pain. He reflects on your sore rectum as he relaxes in his hot tub with his boyfriends sipping champain and eating beluga caviar and decided it's TIME!
Master Chen has negotiated another mega order of cheap, imitation TAMPONS to help shareholers with their rectal bleeding. Master Chen realizes that with the constant meltdown of the stocks value that shareholers must have run out of worthless Chinese tampons long ago. Master Chen cares.
Master Chen has devised a brilliant plan to compensate with tampons based on the number of shares each shareholer has. BRILLIANT! Now, those with biggest gaping rectal hole can get the most imitation Chinese tampons!
Send in name, address and number of shares and Master Chen will be sending worthless Chinese tampons to you soon. Please do not make the same mistake last time and be like Laman. We cannot fulfill orders to "homeless shelter for homosexuals" if we do not have an address for that shelter. Also, "in a box under the bridge" doesn't help if we don't know WHICH BRIDGE.
Lastly, Master Chen wants to express his gratitude to each and every one of you shareholers for allowing him to have his way with you.